Relationship Tips And Advice
Sometimes the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak! Sounds like he was a combination of over-stimulated and tired! If it becomes a pattern, lmk. If it is just an isolated event, brush it off and forget about it. If you make it an issue, it will become an issue...guys are sensitive about their little buddies...threaten not the cock!
While there is such thing as a "sex coach", I don't think a legit coach gets as...involved...as you are hoping! The most common type of sex coach is a Tantric sex coach. ( Tantric sex is defined HERE as follows: The word Tantra means "to manifest, to expand, to show and to weave." In this context, sex is thought to expand consciousness and to weave together the polarities of male (represented by the Hindu god, Shiva), and female (embodied by the Hindu goddess, Shakti), into a harmonious whole.
- Finding a Tantric sex coach:
- To find a coach in your area, start checking with yoga studios, periodicles, online ads (although I LOATHE CraigsList) or the Almighty Google. Oh! Go old-school and find the Yellow Pages (does anyone use them anymore?)...
- If you find a few coaches that seem interesting to you, set up a time when you can meet with them and discuss their teaching methods. You should be actively interviewing these people! It is crucial that you find someone you feel you can trust; whose personality meshes well with yours and your S.O.'s (Significant Other's). If you don't like/trust your coach, you'll learn little to nothing from them and will have wasted your time and money. Meet up on neutral ground...StarBucks, CrapDonald's, a local park. You can interview via the phone, but I tend to prefer being able to look someone in the eye when considering employing them.
- Comparison shop, too! Ask what the coach charges, what that includes and how many sessions you should expect to need to attend. Even if you like the first person you speak to, you really should interview at least two more. By getting multiple quotes, you will be better able to assess the going rate on classes/sessions.
- Most sex coaches offer group classes. (Calm down, it isn't QUITE what you're thinking!) Go to one. Evenn if you're wanting private lessons, go to one group class. It'll show you how the prospective coach communicates with students.
- Once you've made an offer to a coach, and it has been accepted, be a good student! Show up on time (whether group classes or private ones) and do your "homework"!
Having one testicle (whether it is missing completely or just hasn't migrated down and dropped) is called ‘undescended testicle’. Even without the undescended testicle pulling it's weight, you prolly shouldn't be too worried about making babies. Your other normal testicle is apt to be producing millions and millions of sperm. Have a one-night stand with a chick you despise, you're almost guaranteed to knock her up and be stuck with her! *giggle* Seriously, though; the decision to reproduce shouldn't be made lightly. Without knowing the nature of your handicap, it is impossible for me to predict the outcome of breeding (odds of a healthy child, ease of conception, etc). That's something you need to discuss with your medical provider.
As for the second part of your submission; the desire to become a woman or to be with a woman perplexes your folks? There's a HUGE difference between the two! I fail to see how having singular testes makes you any less of a man. It is what it is, it is the way you were made! I did, however find an article explaining the how's, why's and what-to-do's regarding undescended testicles...give it a read!
Good luck, hun!
Talk about walking a barbed-wire tightrope! To be honest, there is not a definitive answer...since what one man finds mild, another finds wild, it is just too subjective.
One hint: keeping your clothes off in public is more slutty than sexy!
A while ago, I posted a step=by-step guide for anal newbies. By following the basic steps outlined there, you'll be more likely to have a positive experience. Be sure you do not try to insert something too large too fast. Try starting with a finger, then two followed by a small toy, medium toy and finally your bf's cock. Also, if there is any hesitancy, stop for a few and regroup. Because of the 'fear factor', most novices have a tendency to clinch their anus, you really want to be thinking wide open thoughts...think "Grand Canyon"! *giggle*
Lexx, I am glad you enjoyed the FleshLight! They're awesome male sex toys, one of the very best on the market. Does lasting a long time with the FleshLight mean you'll last a long time with your gf? Not necessarily! You controlled the movement of the toy, but your partner will be moving on her own! While it isn't a guarantee, it is encouraging! Good luck!
Hi J...when it comes to licking the chocolate starfish, there really isn't a gender that tastes sweeter than the other; hygiene is hygiene. When it comes to size vs duration...you're way off the mark! NEITHER is as important as skill! An attentive lover with a smaller penis is far more appreciated that one with a clumsilly yielded flesh-baseball bat!
Hi CaliBoy! I am actually in a fairly serious relationship at the moment. Before you ask...yes, he's younger! LOL
editors note: DAC=Date A Cougar
Corey, I have always found someone when I was not trying to find anyone! Relax, keep yourself "out there" and the right girl will find you! Go out on blind dates, group dates, etc. even if you don't think you're actually interested in the person you've been partnered with for the day. Even if you don't feel a spark with your partner d'jour, you might find a friend in them...remember this: SHE might not be the one, but her bff might be. Network, network, network!
Stop focusing on your outward appearance. Even unattractive people find love...have you never watched Jerry Springer?! ;)
Hello, Harvey. While I know there are some adult film stars who travel and meet/meat up with fans, I am afraid I am not on of them.
:)
Thank you, Kristinah! Sounds like your boy toy is tres' lucky to have you! I have, matter of fact, played with several other women with my man. We share your passion for the apple-bottom girls (being one myself, how could I resist)! I own several double-headed jelly dongs that are made to be shared by a woman on each end. My current favorite one is cherry red and well loved! For a little added excitement, the girls get blindfolds and the boy gets a bowl of ice cubes and the liberty to trace over any hot flesh he so desires! The "not knowing" combined with the sudden icy chill on your hot, sweaty bodies will help build your passion to volcanic proportions! Another really fun addition to this particular game...vibrating eggs is your moist pussy and double-dong in your tight assholes! MMmmmmmm!
Oh! I almost forgot! YES, I have a secret kink! ;)
If you wear out the toy you have, may I recommend this one:
It's available in several colors!
Hello Jenny! I take it my strong personality reveals itself rather well on film, huh? *giggle* The ability to dominate another has nothing to do with relative age, or with the physical build of either party. The seemingly simple dynamics between Dom and sub is far more complicated than it appears. It is a common misconception that submissives are weak or frail. Many subs hold positions of power and authority and find being submissive is an escape from the normal pressures of being in charge. Even if only for the length of a single session, the Dom and sub have entered into a relationship, and one built on trust. Being a Dom is more than just being a bossy, demanding bitch. A sub is, after all, still a human being! Because the amount of control exerted over the sub is agreed upon beforehand and consensual, there is less of a power struggle and more of a power exchange. As far as being demanding in bed...I hear ya, sister! I have always wondered why women would fake an orgasm! By rewarding that negative behavior and fooling the man into thinking that rocked your world, you're all but guaranteeing he'll never be able to get you off!
Me a police officer? Hmmmm....I *do* have military training....
w00t! YAY Tom! I am so happy for you! I am *so* glad I helped you along!
In what way does it hurt? Is it a mild discomfort from the size of his penis? Is he banging harder than you would like? Could you PRETTY please write me again with more detail? I hate the idea of someone not enjoying anal sex! I love it! I don't want you to miss out anymore!
I hope to hear from you again, Tina!
See what you young kids missed out on? Those of us born in the 70's remember the water bed expression, "It isn't the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean!" *giggle*
With the size of the average penis far smaller than the typical online chatroom user claims to be sporting, it comes as no surprise to me that more and more men are fixated on the endowments. Twenty years ago, no one would have dreamed there would be a "male enhancement" pill commercial on television, much less hundreds of them! Now, I am not saying that men worrying about size is a new phenomenon, what I *am* saying is it has become more prevalent a topic than ever before. Just because there a booming male enhancement pill industry, there is no proof that we really need there to be one! Look at who the ads are targeted to; men. Men are buying the products, men are worrying about their penis size, men are amusing a lot of us women with this! I am not saying we don't like a nice cock, I am saying given the choice between a large one with limited skills and a smaller one with incredible talents, we will chose the smaller more skilled dick. One thing I have found in lovers with smaller cocks (I am not saying SMALL cocks, I am saying smaller than the national average of 6 inches), is they have made certain to educate themselves on techniques, the arts of seduction and arousal to "compensate" for being less endowed. What have I found with men with larger cocks? Typically (and maybe it is just my experience...and the experiences of the 7 gal pals I called to get their opinions on this question), the bigger the cock, the less effort put in to technique. Size alone won't carry you, guys! Four inches is not the smallest functioning cock on record... 2 1/2 inches is...if you want to compare yourself to someone in the locker room to make you feel small...compare yourself to that chap and feel like a giant! You're almost twice as big as he is! He managed to find someone who loved, married and had kids with him! Ok, I don't know that last part for a fact...but, a woman is going to love YOU not just your cock. You will find a woman who loves you for who you are, not what you think you are missing. She will love your cock and how you use it. You will be the best lover she ever had. Relax, go practice new techniques and start building your skill sets!
Hi Eugene, this doesn't make you weird at all...it makes you human and adventurous! My first response to your question was to give *my* opinion (that it's a natural thing to do, notice guys LOVE it when a woman tastes her juices? Why should it be different for guys?), but instead I decided to look around the mighty world wide web...check this out...somebody posted the same question on IsItNormal.com. With 43 responses, an overwhelming number of people thought it normal...85%. When you have plenty of time, read the topix thread...this post was started in 2007 and is STILL actively getting replies; again the majority of which are supportive of the act. I see nothing wrong with "self-sampling". There is an entire community of "snow ballers"; those fetishists devoted to cumming in in their partners mouth then sharing a kiss, as well as that hot load, immediately afterwards. Do a few searches, you'll find that you are not alone, matter of fact, you're part of the majority!
Relax, eat up and enjoy!
Ok! I am going to answer way out of order, so I apologize ahead of time! I have never bleached my bum, BUT I did some research and it appears that BleachBum is the favorite product out there! It got better ratings for ease, cost, effectiveness and fragrance.
"I just moved in with my boyfriend and he is a freak." LUCKY!
To be honest, there is not TOO much you can do to ward off the aromas of a full day running ragged at work. To keep you vaggie as fresh smelling as possible, despite a 10-12 hour day, I suggest keeping the jungle brush trimmed. The longer haired vag's tend to get sweatier and therefore smellier. Also, using moist wipes after urinating will help. Keep in mind, as you're freaking about natural scents, that may be the very thing that turns your man on and gets his motor humming! Your @ss, same basic story. There is no magic secret to beating the human condition and coming home smelling shower fresh...unless you stop at the gym and take a shower on your way home! Basic hygiene and careful wiping after using the toilet are about all I can suggest. Porn tricks and tips do not lend themselves well to real life. When we prepare for anal scenes, we know in advance we are going to be shooting anal, we fast and rinse our rectums out several times before we shoot. As soon as we are done, we are famished and cannot wait to get some food in us. Luckily, we can usually be in out, fucked and done in under 4 hours...not at work for a full day, trying to starve ourselves just in case the mood for butt loving strikes once we get home. I would honestly ask him if he is one who prefers the earthy aroma of natural body or if he is put off by them and wants you to smell like baby wipes. You might be worrying about getting rid of the thing he likes best!
HAHAHAHAHA! Sando, you crack me the FUCK up sometimes! Yes, I was naughty and slacked on my responsibilities! I am trying to make it up to you all...I promise!
Hi Dane, yeppers...you caught me! I am a BIG time lover of dick sucking! There is something about being 100% responsible for another persons orgasm that makes me feel powerful. I relish the fact I was able to coax that hot load from balls to tip to mouth with the sheer power of my mouth and hands! Also, it shows the person whose cock you're feasting on, "This is all about you right now. I want to do something for you, shower my attention on only you and I want you to do nothing but enjoy it."
Whether or not I want a load in my mouth depends on a few variables...if the guy smokes, I am not as eager to taste his spunk. Why? Because everything you put in your body via ingestion, imbibing or smoking comes back OUT of your body in the forms or waste, sweat, secretions...yes, that INCLUDES your semen! Smoking, drinking alcohol, diet, drug usage (licit and illicit), general health, vitamins....everything contributes to the tastiness of you! (See She Will Not Swallow for a smoothie recipe I GUARANTEE will help make your load tastier.)
I went through a phase (well, technically I go through it every once in a while), where I loved getting banged doggy style only to have the guy pull out and cum on the soles of my feet. It was an easy target, all he had to do was pull out, let me put my feet closer together and point his cock down a bit to douse my tootsies. There is something sensual about the warm, velvety feeling of hot jizz landing on the delicate (often over-looked) soles of your feet. I just like it...now I am realizing I have not done that in MONTHS and might have to go wake up the bf...
Having performed in so many scenes, and having always had a very sexually charged personal life, I have probably had cum on every inch of my body at one time or another. My favorite places? Soles of my feet (duh), face, mouth, b00bs and ass! My Least favorite? In my eyes (bruises the eye and causes temporary pink eye), my hair, up my nose (don't laugh, it happens and snorting spunk stings) and my upper back! When it comes to cum, taste is not the only determining swallow-factor...temperature plays a MAJOR part! If it isn't fresh from the tap, I am NOT drinking it! Cold, congealed cum is disgusting! It's like dick snot at that point. *shudder*
Titty-fucking, you say...sometimes I am in to it, other times it is too much lubed up, slippery tit to try to control! The longer the cock, the easier it is to get titty-fucked by it. Since I am a 32DDD, a shorter cock gets, well, lost in between my hooters and I have to constantly adjust my grip on my slippery globes to feel anything from the dick. Yes, I know pet...that was not the sensual answer you were looking for, I went IRL on ya!
Todd, you are a victim of the media, hunny bunny! Your penis is actually nearly twice the size of the average man. Not the average 16 yr old, but the average full-grown man. The penis sizes are broken down here: answering David V's question. So, as far as the SIZE goes, your girlfriend won't think it's small but she might be a little intimidated by the size of your fuckstick! Good luck getting her to be able to keep a brave face when she sees that trouser snake! I know experienced porn stars who are a touch fearful when booked for scenes with cocks the size of yours!
Onto the masturbation question...skim thru this for a little info...then read this one...between the two columns, you should be able to get an idea of how to speed things up, so to speak!
Todd, please do not take this the wrong way, but if you're unsure if you're ready for sex...then you're probably not. It doesn't mean you're less of a man or that you're "weird"...it means it isn't the right time in your life yet. If you decide, however, to plunge in to the fucking game, do me a favor? Realize that you have a WEAPON between your legs and learn how to use your cock as a tool for pleasure and not just ram your partners tender spots like you had a baseball bat between your legs! There have been COUNTLESS times I've been with a guy with a larger-than-average cock and he thought size was the same as skill. It isn't, just because it's big doesn't mean it's always good. A man with a huge cock and no skill = a bruised cervix!
In summation: it is not always a matter of stuffing as much meat in a pussy as you can cram in there...the vagina DOES have a limit to what it can do!
Some lotions, Joe, can get gummy feeling when used as a masturbatory agent. Others can allow friction to build up...and not in a pleasant way. Instead of using a regular hand lotion or moisturizer, I recommend either buying lubricants specifically made for genital contact OR cocoa butter. Commercial lubes come in many viscosities and formulations. Silicon-based lubes are some of the most popular types, as they do not weaken condoms. (Like water-based lubes, they're safe to use with condoms and other latex products, but they last longer.) Another advantage? The silicone-based lubes can actually be used IN water (think: kinky hot tub action). One major disadvantage to these marvels of modern science: you have to use soap and water to get the lube off your hands, your cock, your partner, etc. Water-based lubes are just as condom-safe, but they can get sticky, don't last anywhere near as long and are easily washed away (say good bye to the hot tub sex). H2O lubes can, however, be wiped off after sexing the good old bachelor way! You know, grab the t-shirt you had just been wearing and wipe your Johnson, roll over and go to bed! I am going to VERY briefly touch on oil-based lubes, just to round out the three major categories. Oil-based lubes (Vaseline, no-name petroleum jelly or lotion) are not recommended for sex because they tend to break down latex. They can lead to infections by leaving a coating on the vagina, rectum and penis. Males masturbating can use oil-based lubes as a way to avoid chafing or to try something new. Here's the thing though, should you buy any of these oil-based slickers, make SURE you do not accidentally grab it in place of a water or silicone based mood when sexing someone else! A failed condom is as valuable as an absent one...it'll offer no protection. I suggest you try either the silicone-based lube (KY Intrigue, ForPlay, Wet, ID and Kama Sutra are all examples of silicone-based lube brands), which can be found in this dvd/novelty online shop or cocoa butter. Then reason I like cocoa butter (BESIDES the fact that the best brand is actually called Palmer's and a masturbation aid distributed by a company named Palmer's cracks me up for some unknown reason) is simple: it's viscous, it's natural and it can be used in a vagina without hurting it! It's what I call a "lick and stick"...you can lick it without getting sick and you can stick it on your girl without her pussy getting sick!
Thank you, Steve. I am actually in a committed relationship at the moment. I have been seeing the same man for 4 years. I am sorry!
Dude, NEVER fuck your friends mom! That is just asking for trouble! If she's married with a volatile relationship, the hubby might not take too kindly to you banging his old lady. (It would be a shame for your pals dad to kick your ass.) There are other sets of great tits, nice asses and easy to get along with women...Don't sh*t where you eat, so to speak!
Ok, I just have to say it: Bros before Hoes, man!
Anil, thank you! Let me see, where to begin? A 6 hour handjob, huh? I *LOVE* cock, but even I do not want to think about having to tug on one for that long! My arm would hurt and the resentment would build...6 hours is a lot of "you time"! The amount of friction that your cock would be exposed to, no matter HOW much lube you use, would most likely leave it tender and sore.
Swallowing...barring any venereal disease, your partner should have no health risks from swallowing your load. DO keep in mind that whatever you eat, you secrete! Be good to your lover and eat healthily. I recommend drinking pineapple juice regularly in order to sweeten your man milk.
As for what I like to do more, fucking is my number one but out of the options listed, I would have to say blow job!
Cullen...getting to know and hang out with a porn star isn't an odd dream...just a difficult one! Your BEST bet is to TRY to open a dialogue via fan sites/email. keep in mind, tho, that not all performers actually answer their own email! They may have a husband or bf (even the ones who SWEAR they're single), a webmaster, another fan or agent who is speaking for them. You can try showing up at various adult industry events (I recommend the smaller events, such as Pornstar karaoke at Sardo's in Burbank) and chatting up one of the gals there...keep in mind: we gals get a LOT of fans who want to "be friends" and 98% of them then try to turn it in to something more; don't be shocked if you're met with suspicion, we can be jaded!
Good luck, you'll need it!
Sounds to me like she's got issues! Until she comes to terms with her sexuality and sex, it just ain't going to happen! Honey, is she cannot get herself off, you're not going to be able to either!
If she's enjoying the intimacy, I wouldn't sweat it TOO hard...I would, however, suggest she figures out why she's holding herself back. Damn our society for pressuring girls to NOT experiment sexually!
Sando, thank you...I STILL have moments where I mourn the loss of her...
In a relationship where I HAD to spank the person? Nope...in one where I CHOSE to spank that person? YUP! Sometimes it was consensual, other times, I over-powered the person throwing them over my knee and showing NO mercy! It was a gf of mine who just infuriated me with layer after layer of lies and petty issues. Once the respect for me was back, things got a lot better between us...until I tired of her!
You need to get a better hobby. You and your sister seem to have too much time on your hands. You DO realize that by "borrowing" a few security sensors, you left valuable merchandise untagged and likely to get stolen, right? I might have the morals of an alley cat, but even *I* can see that's just wrong!
Want the CRAP spanked out of you? Apply HERE! Spankings hurt, that's why they're used as punishment, hun. I would take some arnica tablets prior to, and after the spanking. Also, arnica gel on the bruises helps here them faster. Taking a nylon-bristles brush (one normally used for hair) and brushing downward on the bruised areas lightly three or four times a day will help the discoloration break up and dissipate more quickly, too.
Roger, there ARE penis-extending sex toys, though I am not sure how well they work...a few can be found here. If you take a gander thru the Penis Stuff section here on AskKayla, you'll find other tips and tricks. BTW, chances are your girlfriend isn't as concerned with the size of your fuckstick as much as you are!
If it takes his cock in your ass to make him happy, drop him like a bad habit! Take it up your ass because you want to, not because you feel pressured to do so. Now, if you DO want to take the flesh-baseball bat up your ass, I would warm up with toys beforehand! Tire out that sphincter a bit...start slowly...I suggest being penetrated while laying on your side, allowing you to push back against the rigid penis, in order to control the speed and depth of insertion.
Have a good time!
editors note: Bi-sexual is a great way to be! Personally, I believe that everyone is bi-sexual but in varying degrees...but that is another entry for another day!
I find it difficult to take 18 yr old women/children seriously when it comes to sex irl (irl=in real life)...most gals that age tend to be less focused on the fucking and more so on making sure they think their partner thinks they look good fucking. It seems I have to remind a lot of off-set sexual partners that, being off-set, there is no camera crew...director...camera angles to worry about. Nothing wastes my time more than trying to get off with someone who is too busy posing and preening for the non-existent camera!
I checked out "her" site...corporate site, run by a company, not by her. They pose her well, she photographs cute...not my taste in a girl.
Sorry, I am sure that isn't the answer you wanted. Are your sales converting well? I can only assume that this is someone from the company who runs her website and not a fan, based on the way your submitted email is worded...
BTW, if you would like to get traffic for your affiliate program, email me thru the KaylaKash website instead of submitting "questions" here!
Wow, am I ever the wrong person to ask about working out and exercise and shit! I stopped joining gyms once I realized I was paying for a PE class I had no intent of showing up for! Some women always have a "place in their heart" for their first(s); others don't...just as some people are romantics and others are not. Maybe I am just jaded from the porn-a-riffic lifestyle I have lived for so many years, I hadn't thought about my "first(s)" in decades, until I read this question.
Heya Tom, glad my movies are helping you through some long, hard nights! The age of whom you choose to lose your cherry to doesn't strike me as important...there are well-versed "whores" of all ages, so if you're thinking age=experience, then you've not seen the typical American teenager lately! ;)
Hi Matt, try jerkin off before you see her. By releasing the semen filling your testicles, you'll reduce your bodies immediate inventory of liquid soldiers; forcing your body to manufacture more and buying you some stall time.
My only other suggestions suck: try a numbing agent (like anal ease) to limit the sensation and *hopefully* prolong things enough for you to actually get in the party before throwing your 'confetti'...yeah, I know...numbing your cock defeats the purpose of fucking; try not to think about sex so much, diminish the importance and 'trick your brain' into letting you get further...again, YES I know how retarded it is for me to tell an 18yr male virgin to not think about sex! I warned you that both my other options were lame!
Hi Christopher...Asking what kind of sex women like from men is like asking what women like to eat: it varies from woman to woman. Some gals like to be made love to, others like to be ravaged. Most like a bit of everything just in varying degrees. Cop out of an answer, huh? *giggle*
PBE (play by ear), see what gets you the best reactions and follow that path!
First off, try running the threesome by your wife...she might surprise you! I suggest vaguely alluding to one, not directly asking her to jump in to one, to gauge her reaction before throwing all of your cards out on the table. If she gives you that "glare of death". drop it like a bad habit! If she expresses interest, proceed with caution...there might be a hook in the bait...DO NOT, under any circumstance, suggest another female by name! Let your wife start naming galpals of hers should you get that far. No sense in loading the ammunition for future arguments for her!
So, she's given you the "No-Way,No-Day" answer and you wanna know where to go from there? Strip clubs: very costly with low success percentage ratio. Internet: possibility; clear your cache/history often or risk getting busted by the wife. Brothels: you get what you pay for, guaranteed success. Turning to friends: suicide, it WILL get back to your wife! No one can hold gossip this juicy.
Just something for you to consider...should you go the internet route...do NOT bring anyone to your home. Once you let someone know where you live, the best "getting caught" scenario is that they accidentally leave something behind...your new play-partner might decide to show up unannounced one day...
Hun, you and your S.O. (Significant Other) need to sit down and have a chat. Unless you tell him what does and does not trip your trigger, he is unlikely to stumble across (much less remember) the correct sequence of events! It's unfair of you to expect him to be sexually psychic.
The fact that you were able to achieve orgasm at 12 (although, I am not 100% sure that was an actual orgasm based on your youth, inexperience and stimuli mentioned, but....) yet are unable to do so now concerns me. Was there a traumatic event, either physically or emotionally, around that time? Was the "orgasm" you experienced the only one or were there more that stopped at the same point in your life?
First off, I think it important to verify that you've ruled out physical hindrances to the ability to climax. A physical exam is first on the list of recommendations. Should that reveal no issues, explore your ability to trust your partner(s). Good sex is difficult to share in a bad relationship! Some introspective searching won't help either. You would be amazed at how subconscious perceptions/ideas about sex and sexuality can creep up and tank a perfectly good orgasm!
Might be time for you to experiment a little bit...step outside your bedroom routines...Have you tried pairing penetration with clitoral stimulation...Either via fingers or a vibrating cock ring? Various positions been explored? Honestly, I am a firm believer in: If you cannot get yourself off, do not expect others to be able to do so either!
Invest in a sex toy or two and get to know your body! Your vagina, clitoris and labias...both major AND minor!
Once you know what it takes to rock your world, it'll be easier to coach someone else to victory!
Not this week!
The idea of "turning someone gay" is a fallacy, cannot happen. You're either straight, gay or bisexual (well, according to most schools of thought...personally, I believe that everyone is bi-sexual, just some way more so than others).
I will say this: I am a great "starter-lesbian"...my masculine personality offers the feeling of safety, security and protection while my body/gender comforts since there is no "scary penis" swinging around ready to pounce.
Fuck your mother? You need professional psychiatric help, Ramo, this is not an appropriate relationship to crave with a parent.
Darren...I have no idea what you mean by: "How do I get to know a woman during orgasm?" As for the rest:
While there are many places to spray your spunk on your partner, there really isn't a broad range of WAYS to do it...pretty much, aim, relax and shoot! You can sling your cock from side to side if you want to cover a larger area, I suppose, but my experience and research turned up no special way to get cum from tab a to slot b. As for creampie technique: keep cock in, cum, mission completed. If, however, you are planning to video/photograph the creampie, I recommend pulling your rod halfway out of the hole (be it an anus or vagina) before squirting your semen, that will deposit it closer to the opening making it easier for the camera to see.
Hmmm...married yet for all intensive purposes a virgin? Sounds to me like you need to focus on the relationship you are IN before trying to leap into another one! I am not an advocate of cheating; if the relationship is considered to be open by ALL parties involved, that is different. If you have watched videos without learning from them and you've a partner who remains untouched by you, you've wasted two incredible resources readily at your disposal. Consider speaking to your spouse about broadening your sexual experiences.
Trying to meet a porn star with the hopes of marrying her and settling down is like trying to meet any other woman with the same goals in mind. While it is possible, there is no formulaic way to go about doing so. Because you have narrowed the search for a potential mate to a specific sub-culture of our society, it will require far more effort. Mathematically speaking, it is possible although not probable. From a porn star's point of view: Personally, I hate it when a fan thinks he is going to "save me" from the world of porn; I have never dated a fan, much less gotten involved with anyone who merely wanted to be able to say he was "banging a porn star"; I tend to date those who want to get to know ME, not my profession.
Good luck!
Hi James, you get an "A" in my book for adventurous spirit! Do I think a girl would like it? That depends on the girl! I would feel her out (pun intended) on how she feels towards anal play. If she seems comfortable with butt-bumping, I would bring it up as openly, honestly and candidly to her as you did to me. If the first gal says no, move on to the next!
As for me being over 30 but not looking it...THANK YOU! I am closing in rapidly on 40...born in 1970...some of us old gals can still throw down! *smirk*
Hello Derek...quick question: Have you ever been reaching for something on a shelf that is just barely too high? As you frantically try to grab whatever it is you want, you actually end up pushing it further from your grasp? Girls can be the same way. Especially if they feel you are on a quest to pop your cherry. I suggest you relax, realize that the boasting and bragging your friends are probably doing is just that: BOASTS! You're not falling behind or going to be a social outcast because you haven't banged a babe. Don't push for the pussy, once a chick is on the defense, you can all but hear her pussy slamming shut! Go out a few times, flirt but walk the barbed-wire tightrope of not seeming too overly interested in fucking her...it'll make her insecure and more likely to throw herself at you in order to prove to herself that she is still hot.
GAWD, I know I am going to get a ton of email from chicks pissed off at me over this one! LOL
Turn on the charm and rely more on body language and suggestive double-entendres rather than the blunt spoken word. Oh, if you'd like to hedge your bet...use the phrase "make love to" instead of "fuck". Remember: Men use love to get sex; women use sex to get love.
Actually, Friday, Manuel Ferrara and I filmed a scene together a little over a year ago. I took cock in my ass, Friday did not. That is actually how and where I met Corinne, my current roommate. She drove Friday to set, she was Friday's roommate then. I have not been able to find the scene anywhere, but I will keep my eyes peeled for it!
I guess the only person left for Corinne to room with is Manuel! *giggle*
You're kidding, right? If you have to "talk a girl into" it, she isn't the right girl for a one-night stand.
Either find a willing fuck-buddy-du-jour or find a pro and pay her.
Josh, there are so many factors that come into play when we start talking about penile problems! Everything from diet, physical well-being, health of the relationship between you and your partner, medication, outside stresses, age, and so on and so on can affect your cock. Is this a new development, or have you always had a "lazy cock"? Are you able to regain rigidity? Do you have this problem consistently or sporadically? While I do not have a cock personally, there are a few in my life that I truly value, when in doubt go see a GP (general practitioner) and see if you need to be referred to a specialist!
You gals need to sit down and have a talk! Is it that oral has never been pleasurable for her, or is this a recent change in the dynamic? Have other areas of your relationship soured, affecting your physical connection? Is it only your oral technique she isn't grooving on? Way lots to discuss, m'darling!
To be honest, you're going to have to be patient! It takes time to recover from something as strenuous as having a baby, not to mention the constant attention your new bundle of joy still requires! Hate to say it, but you're going to have to get used to being a daddy, and ranking second to junior!
Eventually, baby-sitters will be your BEST friends!
Lady Lilith, you honor me! I love hearing from other strong, independent women! I will make you a deal: I will make it to you if I ever find myself in your country, if y9u promise to do the same if you make it to mine!
As for breaking in the wives/girlfriends of those driven by the insatiable desire to be broken, tried and trained...I suggest starting by casually presenting a mild fetish film as one evenings entertainment. Nothing too terribly extreme, think: vanilla pudding of fetish. Something that is along the lines of the fixation...just to gauge the reaction of the potential convert. If done subtly, a ton of opinion can be surmised...your plebe will know whether to push a little further with the next film, to suggest "trying" it out at home with their partner or if their partner is uncomfortable with the idea. Should it seem as though the significant other is hesitant or uncomfortable, a heart-to-heart conversation is in order...ASAP! I am not normally one to advocate with-holding information, but I wouldn't suggest mentioning to a relationship partner being inducted into the fetish lifestyle any sessions in which money changed hands or a professional dominatrix was employed: it may be a little too intimidating to the novice.,/p>
:)
Hello James...first of all, there is nothing wrong with masturbation as long as it does not interfere with "real life" issues. If you are missing classes, work, assignment deadlines, etc because you're stroking the monkey, you've got a problem, otherwise you're fine. As for virginity...ALL of us were virgins at one point; it is nothing to be ashamed of my dear! Sounds to me as though you are not looking for a "relationship" at all, but a conquest! If you are just looking to hook up and fuck, there is nothing wrong with that type of a situation as long as all parties involved understand the situation going in...it is when people are mislead that the drama ensues. As for what *I* would do in your place...the odds of meeting a flesh and blood woman increase exponentially if you venture away from the computer and put yourself in social situations. That said, I would actually turn my computer off and look for actual physical contact...
Hi Mario, thank you so much for the compliments! Yes, I have dated men of all color, but since you specifically asked about African-American ones... I dated Sledge Hammer briefly, too briefly! ;)
Wow! Lots to answer here, let me see what I can do...
First of all, I have never had any complaints (from males OR females) on how I rim an ass. That being said, I am going to assume that equates to enjoyment. While I do sometimes enjoy being dominant, there are times when I am more in the submissive mood...I tend to be VERY dominant over other women and dominant over most men, but once in a while I find a man who is so strong, that I can barely muster a cross word! I cannot think of any video in which I am being fucked, especially with the man in a dominant position such as on top, and I am demanding to have my feet worshipped. There are some fetishes that work well when mixed with hardcore sex acts, but FemDom is not really one of them. FemDom is more about teasing and denying, not gratifying then demanding.
Men and nipples...such a wild-card! While some men are open to enjoying the stimulation of a warm, wet tongue lapping at their nipples, others seem all but afraid to try it at all! I enjoy teasing and nibbling lightly on nipples, be they manly ones or girlie ones!
Now, the tattoo question! Which foot, huh? Well, there are lots of variables here! If it is a large tattoo, I suggest the non-dominant foot...so, if she is right-handed, then the left foot. I say this only because a larger tattoo will be tender longer and can make walking difficult. If it is a smaller one, then on the dominant tootsie. Although, the Latin word for "left" is sinestra, from which we get sinister...so, if it is a naughty tattoo, it almost HAS to go on the left foot! *giggle*
Hello Hunter! Interesting question...There are several factors that play a part in a man having difficulty (or even complete inability) to achieve and maintain an erection (a condition known as impotence). Both physical and mental/emotional causes are common; these include, but are not limited to, depression, stress, work pressures, relationship problems, insecurities, low self-esteem, and poor diet. The more of these buggers you're facing, the better your chances for having a limp noodle. Sucks, huh?
There are non-chemical alternatives in the treatment of impotency, however. That little blue pill is not your only hope! Relationship counseling (also referred to as psychosexual therapy)can be quite beneficial in lifting your...ummm...spirits. Usually exercises are assigned by the therapist to help overcome past issues, encourage forgiveness in one another, renew your intimacy, spark the sexual interest and arousal. Just by cleaning out the emotional clutter that builds in most relationships over time, impotency can become a thing of the past.
An even simpler cure can be as simple as a change in attitude and/or perspective. Stop brow-beating yourself over your slower-than-before erection; psyching yourself up about past problems right before trying to get that high-rise in your Levi's is only setting yourself up for failure. Adopt a more positive outlook, about both you and your partner! It's infectious, you'll both feel better and better things will...sprout...from that feeling.
Nourish your mind, body and soul. Eating properly and finding the time to exercise strengthens every aspect of your life. Cheesey sounding, I know...but a healthy diet means a healthy sex life!
Male fertility issues can be caused by a number of things. A low sperm count, premature ejaculation, or "abnormal" sperm (malformed, low motility, etc). Generally speaking, your overall general health influences your fertility. The healthier your life-style, the healthier your little white army usually is. Drugs, drinking and smoking are top causes of sperm problems. There have actually been multiple studies linking nicotine to low sperm count and inferior health of sperm cells; keep that in mind the next time you light up!
Just as having folic acid in her system when a woman conceives is desirable, there are certain things you need in your system to help your little guys do their job. Vitamin C and zinc are your friends here. Some STD's such as chlamydia or gonorrhea can silently damage the spermatic ducts. (You also risk transmitting your disease to your partner causing her to be infertile.) Since these two examples in particular are known to wipe out reproduction systems without manifesting symptoms, you might want to get tested just to be on the safe side.
Some medications/drugs can affect sperm production, too. Certain antibiotics can temporarily hamper your production of sperm. Anabolic steroid use has been proven to cause testicular shrinkage and lead to infertility, as well.
Injury to the testes can cause problems, too. Remember the bitch who kicked you in the balls in the 5th grade? Even if you don't, your balls might! There could have been damage done to any part of the complicated male parts down there!
Environmental factors can be wreaking havoc on you, like excessive stress, working out too often and too hard (the production of higher levels of adrenal steroid hormones, can lower the amount of testosterone in your body), tight underwear or pants, hot tubs, saunas, well...anything that raises the temperature of your scrotum, (including things easily overlooked like a hot work place, driving in a hot vehicle a lot, sitting in front of too many computers kicking out heat...) can lower your production of that white gold you so desire.
Start with this list of possible hazards, fix the ones you can and see if that helps. Also, save up your spunk for a day or so before trying to impregnate her. By holding off on sex for a few days before she ovulates, when the timing is right your load will have a higher concentration of little swimmers. Your body can only make so much so fast, so don't shoot a load when she isn't ready to conceive!
Good luck!
Since this wasn't submitted in question form, "How to cope with male jealousy" is what I am assuming you're wanting to know. Let me guess...you call her constantly just to "say hello". You find excuses to monopolize her time. You want her to be at your beck and call, no matter what is going on around her. You constantly want to have the upper hand and total control over the relationship. You use the possess-then-isolate game on her. If she has plans which do not include you, you pout-stomp-yell-accuse, huh?
Dude, unless you want to lose this wonderful woman, you need to CHILL the fuck out! Before pointing the finger her direction, you need to get introspective! You need to figure out why you are acting like a lunatic. Where is this insecurity coming from? Has a past relationship caused you to be suspicious? Are you punishing your new romantic interest for the sins of past lovers? Are there environmental influences here causing a touch of jealousy? Maybe she earns better money than you or has more admirers vying for her attention? Is this a penis-size-worry issue? Scared that you don't measure up in one way or another?
If you are incapable of discovering why you behave as you do, you will be unable to stop. Making her pay for the crimes of others is unfair. Has she any brains, she will cut her losses and walk run away from this relationship before she has too much invested in it. Does she make more money than you? Get over it! Lots of other men chasing after her? She CHOOSES to be with you, she cannot control the actions of others! If you're worried about your cock not pleasing her, read as many of the past Q&A's available in the "Relationships" section of AskKayla for help addressing that conversation with her.
Bottom line: control jealousy or it will cost you everyone worth having a relationship with, hun...Acting like a jackass is NOT sexy!
Hello Aryan, first off...thank you! Now, on to your question...not only is it proper to tell your girlfriend about your fantasies, it is strongly advisable! Communicating your desires increases your chances of having them met many times over! I am a firm believer in communication between intimately involved people.
Romantic talk vs. dirty talk; the age-old battle continues! When it comes to romantic dialogue, adjectives are your best friend! Rely on the five senses to guide you. Whatever you see, smell, hear, taste and touch need be communicated with adjectives galore! Want to really impress your woman? Spend a few moments on Thesaurus.com and find alternate words for things such as soft, silky, sweet, etc. Fight the urge to say things like, "I want to wreck that tight pussy!" Not romantic, if you know what I mean. Want to convey a similar thought? Tell her you'd like to "nudge your way in to her, feeling her moist lips part and make way for your cock...accommodating your girth, but only so...her tender warmth wrapping around your cock..." well, you get the idea! Good luck on this and (once you've perfected it) start teaching courses! Too few men utilize romantic bedroom talk, IMHO.
Concerned about sexing a new partner for the first time? Don't want to break your bank renting enough porn films to pick up the tips and tricks? No problem! Here are some basic tips and tricks to help you...ummm...go the distance! First of all, shake one out before your date. It generally takes longer to ejaculate the second time around. Make her work for it. ;)
Men take less time from moment of penetration to orgasm than women do, in order to prolong the physical act change your pace occasionally. If you feel as though you are about to shoot your load, change the rhythm and/or pace of your thrusts. You can also trick your body by distracting your mind; a good friend of mine told me he thought of Margaret Thatcher naked to keep from popping.
Should you feel as though you need more practice, I am sure your ex won't mind helping you out there! Have fun!
It is normal...but not as likely to happen as Penthouse Forum letters make it appear...most private colleges have rules and legal qualms with faculty and students hooking up...
Thank you, Will! I love reading kudos and accolades like this! *giggle*
As for your question, I am a big supporter of open communication between partners. Secrets of a sexual nature (whether about past partners, experiences or orientation) can sow feelings of distrust in a relationship, so get them out in the open as soon as possible. By being the one to tell your current girlfriend of your sexual orientation, you control where she hears it, how she hears it and when she hears it. Something of this magnitude does require a bit of planning, it needs to be handled delicately. Not only do you need to tell her you are bisexual, you need to tell her of any impact this will have on your partnership. Are you looking to bring another man in to the bedroom? Either for fun or as a third in this romance? Are you bisexual yet monogamous? Are you striving for a level of intimacy that requires there to be no secrets? Since you are unsure of her reaction, I do suggest you have this conversation sooner rather than later. Not to be an ass, but...eventually she will find a magazine you've hidden from her and instead of talking about your sexuality, you'll be defending your sneakiness.
Your sexuality is a MAJOR component of who you are. Give her the opportunity to get to know all of you, not just bits and pieces. If she loves you, then she loves all you are comprised of, in total.
Do women find bisexual men arousing? Some do, some do not. The woman who is right for you, will. I know, I sound cliche, but it is true. Sexual allure is not metered out by gender, persuasion, race, or any other broad category...it is metered out individually.
There is something incredibly provocative about seeing a new lover undressed for the first time! Anticipation sends adrenaline coursing through your veins, whipping your hormones into a frenzy and sending your pulse off the charts...there is little that can top the passion of unconquered sexual territory. The newness of it all, paired with fear of rejection can be jarring. So, while the awkwardness of the moment may feel overwhelming and you're scrambling for anything to say or do to break the tension, giving your penis a silly name, playing ventriloquist with your cock-puppet or showing off a trick you've "taught your cock" might backfire on you. True...humor can break the ice, but once you've made your dick something to laugh at or about it can be difficult to regain that erotically charged atmosphere conducive to good shagging.
There is no formulaic penis presentation plan for me to set out before you. I actually did research this and, aside from mating and/or courtship customs practiced by remote tribes, was unable to find any guidelines pertaining to this matter. Here is the best advice I can give, and it comes only from my own experience: Don't over-practice for the moment; spontaneity is part of the thrill of sex and no one wants to feel as though they're watching the same performance dozens before have already seen.
Rosa....RUN! DO not walk, but RUN away from your desire! This will never end well for you honey!
First of all, with our economy the way it is, if you have a job...hold on to it!! Don't risk your paycheck over a guy that might not be worth it...trust me, he doesn't have the only cock around! Second, for all you know...this might be a game that these two (your boss and her man) play back and forth. You might just be a pawn in a power struggle that will be tossed aside as soon as your 'alliance' has been proven. Also, if he really wanted to be with you, why would he still be with your boss? Had you told me he had dumped her, I *might* suggest dating him but not making a big deal of it...but he's still with his main-squeeze...Lastly, are you really in love with him? Or are you looking for a relationship and are mistaking the mild flirtation as 'the real thing'? How well can you possibly know him to say you LOVE him? Love is a very strong word that is tossed around way too often!
Rosa, PLEASE stay out of this messy, completely avoidable situation! Find a man who is not already spoken for...your bank account will appreciate it, your heart will appreciate it and (most of all) your self-esteem will appreciate it!
Good luck!
Jarred, has your girlfriend given you a reason why she's hesitant to be banged in that position? Is she mentally/emotionally equating the name of the position to your view of her? Meaning, does she feel that being fucked in a doggy position make her feel as tho she is being fucked like a dog? Have you maybe...ummm....abused the power while in this position in the past? Maybe accidentally poked the wrong hole? Does she maybe feel that doggy is a "dirty girl" way of screwing?
Until you find out why, you cannot find a solution...I am afraid you will have to do the one thing that men fear most...ASK HER!
Ask her why, listen without interrupting, then start a conversation in earnest about her tentativeness.
Since you have asked multiple questions, I am going to break this down a bit and take it chunk by chunk:
Do *I* like Indian guys? Yes, I have found myself attracted to men of that culture on more than one occasion! I tend to be drawn to people (both men and women) for personality traits rather than physical ones. If there is a geeky guy or a shy girl at the party, I will find my way to them like a moth to a flame! Intelligence balanced with a goofy, off-the-wall sense of humor are a deadly combination for a man to possess!
As for being in the South...my condolences! I hail from what I like to jokingly refer to as "East L.A....East Lower-Alabama...Pensacola, Fl." Having moved there from the San Francisco bay area, the culture shock nearly did me in. Things just seemed to move slower in the southern states. Be it fashion trends, music fads or dining rage things just seem to take longer to take root in that region. Don't get me wrong: I am not saying that the overall-wearing-inbred-redneck stereotype is accurate. I am, however, saying that being different there means you will have an slightly uphill battle in front of you. Do not try to lose your own individuality in an effort to 'blend in'. Betraying yourself and your culture won't get you anywhere. Seek out those who share common interests with you. If you see a need for a social group that doesn't exist, start a campaign to get it started! Academic interests, hobbies and activities are not bound by culture, race or creed. Even if you find yourself surrounded by people you have no interest in dating, remember this: everyone has friends and you never know who will introduce you to your next girlfriend! Don't give up on the laid-back attitude of the southern states...just relax, go with the flow. If you're going to be there for three more years, you have plenty of time to find the right person and don't need to rush to find the right-at-this-moment one!
Good luck, darling!
That depends on a lot of factors, ranging from choosing the right plastic surgeon to following after-procedure instructions to over-all general health before the surgery! Let's go back and address some of the major causes for decreased sensitivity.
First and foremost: Research your plastic surgeon WELL. Most have a consultation fee, ranging anywhere between $100 to $500. Obviously your geographical area influences this to some degree. With each doctor charging a consultation fee of $250, I still managed to rack up $1000 in consultation fees before finding the plastic surgeon I felt best qualified to perform my procedure. The surgeon I finally decided on not only answered all of my questions (trust me, I had a LOT of them) thoroughly, he also let me contact former patients of his (these patients had volunteered to be references for situations like this) in order to ask them about his skill, compassion, professionalism, etc. I also made sure that I chose a doctor who belonged to The American Board of Plastic Surgery, The American Board of Medical Specialties and The American Society of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeons. Anything that is surgically placed inside my body permanently, I want to have done once and have it done right!
Consider the proposed incision point as well, the further from the implants the incisions, the more nerves they have to go through to get them in place! I have heard stories of implant insertion incisions being done through the navel, under the arm, under the actual breast (WAY old-school) and at the pigment line where the areaola meets the breast. I had my incisions (both my original breast augmentation and my reconstructive surgery after a skiing accident) done at my areolas. By limiting the number of nerves encountered by the surgeon, I limited the amount of potential nerve damage. My nipples are still incredibly sensitive! I still get little shirt pebbles every time a cool breeze blows.
Careful adherence to the post-op instructions given you by your doctor will increase the chances of a speedy and complete recovery. While your tissue is healing, the propensity to unwittingly cause further damage is at its highest. The body needs to heal, synapses reconnect...well, you get my point! If you've just had someone slice you open, force foreign objects in to your body and permanently seal them in there... common sense dictates you take it easy for a while! Follow even the silly sounding instructions. What sounds silly today can mean the difference between nice, round breasts and angry, missile-shaped disasters stuck on your chest!
Hate to say it, but...smokers...you will heal more slowly! Sorry. Not my fault! Same goes for you druggies and alcoholics! *giggle* If you are a smoker, try to quit for a few months before and after you get your new hooters. Your general health (and even some genetics) come in to play here. Eat crappy food a lot? You'll probably have a crappy recovery! Good musculature? Good framework for big fun bags! Get in shape before you buy your new shapes!
While the temptation to rip off the bandages, squeeze into a tube top and show off your new melons, resist it with all of your might! First of all, the new pockets cut in to your chest to hold those implants in place need to heal. You'd be surprised how heavy even moderate-sized saline implants can be. If that is not enough to sway you, remember this: It takes a few weeks for swelling to subside and your implants to settle. For the first month or so, you will most likely feel as though you are walking around with your tits bouncing against your chin...
If you cannot afford to be picky about who does your procedure, if you cannot find room in your budget for a second or even third consultation visit, you cannot afford your new boobs yet. Boobs are a privilege, not a right! *giggle*
Good luck!
The short answer? She was a lying whore! The longer answer is as follows: sometimes a woman fakes an orgasm because she really wasn't in the mood to fuck and thinks if you think she's satiated, you'll finish up faster; some women feel too embarrassed or awkward to express what it takes for you to get them screaming in ecstasy (as if being sexually assertive is a BAD thing!); some fake it because they want to reward the "effort" their lover has made and do not wish to bruise the fragile male ego; some are just wanting to rob themselves of a good fuck! Why did I say that last one? Easy! If your partner isn't hitting it right, but you let him think he is he will never vary his technique. (Think: if it ain't broke, don't fix it...) By never speaking up, by actively misleading their fuck-buddy into thinking they are orgasming, they are dooming themselves to sexual disappointment. I will admit, I hate running a race that I will never cross the finish line of, but I hate the unrealistic portrayal that orgasms are 100% guaranteed even more. Open and honest communication about the romp is key. If she didn't get off yet offered no guidance for aiding her in doing so...she really cannot complain. Orgasms are like threesomes, no matter how hard you try for one, sometimes they happen and sometimes they just don't!
HAHAHA! Ok, Lucy...step away from the pulpit! Phone sex is not creepy (unless it is a family member trying to dial you). First of all, creativity is like a muscle: it gets weaker the less it is exercised! The lack of face-to-face interaction lessens the embarrassment factor, too. It is often easier to say things on the phone than in person. Run with it!
Afraid you'll totally bomb at revving up your partners motor on the phone? Think you'll stumble for things to say? Start with small steps...maybe relive a past encounter, adding on things you would have liked to have done at the time. Praising your partners attributes (both physical and mental) can be an easy stepping off point as well. You might even get lucky enough to have a partner who is at ease and does most of the talking, allowing you to listen and catch the drift of it all!
Besides, phone sex has gotten me through many a boring day when I held an office job!
Interesting Adam...very interesting! I am wondering if maybe you just prefer the extra stimulation provided by her gripping fingers...you just might be a hand-job kind of guy! I know a few blow-job kind of guys...they love to fuck, but need the sucking action to mentally and physically get themselves to orgasm. There is nothing wrong with knowing what you like, hun!
Is this a new situation for you? Is this the first sex partner you have had this issue with? If so, experiment with different positions. It may just be that you need to find the perfect spot for your cock! If it is not a new thing, and you have always been more into the grip than the slip just tell your girlfriend. If you let her think it is "her", then the sexual situation will never get better for the two of you. Feeling inferior doesn't tend to make a woman feel hot.
Hi Tom! Thanks for the compliment, first of all! I used to hate my tushy, but I have grown to appreciate it over the past few years.
I enjoy getting spanked on occasion, but I must admit that it is a rarity that I allow myself to be dominated by a woman. It has only happened on film, never in my real life. Since I have a strong personality, I tend to be more dominant rather than submissive when it comes to other females. Usually, I tend to 'control' my personal relationships but once in a while I flip into a total sub for a man. It really just depends on how our personalities click, to be honest.
I am not usually prone to physical violence, but I have kicked a girlie ass or two! LOL Too bad the few cat-fights I have been involved in were not filmed!
No woman has, other than on-set, ever spanked me. As far as the scenes in which I have been dommed by a woman, I have enjoyed it on more of a humorous level than a sexual one.
While guys in porn are held up as the ideal when it comes to penis size, ideal as they may be, they are not average! That is part of the reason they are in porn. These genital giants are not the norm...The average penis size is actually between 5.5 to 6.4 inches in erect length and 4.7 to 5.2 inches in girth. Ask a typical woman what size cock she likes and you'll get as many answers as you have typical women! Keep in mind here, the g-spot you're aiming to stimulate is only two inches up on the inside upper wall of the vagina; having a monster cock is not a factor on that! Learning to use what you've got will far out-shadow any size concerns you may or may not have. By experimenting with various positions, listening to your lover (both verbal language and body language) and stimulating her erogenous zones will accomplish far more than seeking out the ONE woman who quoted your penis size as her ideal! Some gals crave long, girthy cocks; some crave shorter, yet fatter ones; still others want slender yet long....there are so many combinations and something desirable about each, few of us ladies limit ourselves to just one type! The human body is amazing, it can accommodate almost any size penis! ;)
Hi Mario! Has she said or implied anything about an unsavory aroma? Or are you being overly cautious? I am just curious. *giggle*
A slight change in your diet could affect the aroma you're concerned with. Fresh fruits, lots of water, limited caffeine and limited smoking/alcohol consumption will help a lot. Everything you metabolize passes through your skin as fragrance. Keep that in mind the next time you are out guzzling coffee along with that pack of smokes!
A common mistake guys make is spraying their cock and balls with cologne. YUCK! It tastes terrible and makes us gals limit the amount of time those parts are in our mouths! Nice, dry, clean twings and berries are the safest bet!
Thank you! I used to hate my double-bubble but have grown to love it in recent years! *giggle*
As for your questions...her pulling away may be for one or more reasons. Maybe she is ticklish? Maybe she doesn't like the idea of "dirty feet"? Perhaps she is concerned about the appearance of her feet? Not all of us women like our hooves, you know! I would suggest you treat her to a spa pedicure gift certificate. After her tootsies have been treated, buffed, polished and groomed, ask her to let you show her how much you love the pedicured paws! Be sensitive to any objections, some are easily overcome others are deal-breakers.
Mmmmm.....anal sex! One of my favorites! Personally, I do not think anal sex is a good choice for spontaneity! Because of my slow metabolism, I generally try not to eat anything substantial for 12 hours prior. I enema until I get a clean rinse, for the second rinse (and any more that need to be done), I refill the enema bottle with warm water. The chemicals in enemas can dehydrate if used too much. I assume this is new to your relationship and possibly to both of you? If so, I encourage you to brush up on your basic anal sex skills by reading through past articles found here. Good luck!
Sweetie, if you are getting this much of a run-around, RUN! Do not walk away from her, RUN! You have overheard her say something only to deny it to you later. This relationship is not based on honesty and trust. It is toxic. Your mortality is too valuable to risk. It is not the 1950's where the worst you could get was pregnant or in need of penicillin. The fact that you specified your relationship was committed "on my end at least" threw up warning flags (I can still hear the "Lost in Space" robot shouting, "Danger Will Robinson, danger!" in my mind). Get out. Find someone who not only respects you enough to be honest but respects themself enough to be accountable for their actions.
BTW, if you try bothering to confront her, you will hear a weak excuse/justification for each and every tale that you call to her attention. She will lie, twist and exaggerate and you will want to believe her. Don't bother. How many times will you get hit with a spinning plane propeller before you realize, "This hurts, I should move!"?
Don't give up on having a happy relationship. There ARE good potential partners out there...she is just not one of them. You know what you want, do not settle for less than you deserve!
Hi Brendon! There are a few "tricks of the trade" that may help you here! I suggest stroking one out before the actual sex starts. We all know that the second orgasm takes a guy longer to reach than the first. Once fucking, thinking of something less than sexually enticing (I've heard anything from baseball to car repairs to Margaret Thatcher in a bikini) can help hold back the tide so to speak. Another trick used on set? Change the tempo of the thrusting or change positions/switch to having your cock sucked! Hope these suggestions help!
BTW, clearing the air and letting her know your concern might help alleviate some of the mental pressure and make things easier on you as well!
Hi Joe...have you tried just asking her why she is so hesitant to suck cock? It may be as simple as a past bad experience! I realize that you say you are fine without the oral gratification, so I will move on to the actual questions!
I did find a fairly comprehensive list (along with photos) of sexual positions here. As far as my favorite positions, I must admit to being a creature of habit when it comes to non-film sex! I tend to enjoy missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy and a bit of pile-driver when at home. Out of that list, the two I would assume to be least likely used by non-film folk are reverse cowgirl and pile-driver. Pile-driver can be a bit tricky; it requires not only the proper setting but for both parties to be paying apt attention to prevent injury!
Hi Michael! Nope, not too invasive at all!
Just like everyone else's relationships on the planet, mine go through good times and bad. Sometimes things at home are splendiferous, sometimes not so much! While I love getting banged hard on set, there is a certain emotional intimacy within my relationships that tends to keep me tightly tethered. I am not going to claim that "real life sex" is always the best, but it is the best consistently! I can always count on my boyfriend du jour to know exactly what it takes to float my boat AND I do not have to worry about whether or not it looks good! *giggle*
When it comes to sex, I know no guilt, babe!
Talk about a trick question Steve! Part of me says to leave out any name (other than your wife's) when telling her your fantasies...part of me says to live it out with her! Maybe a compromise is in order here? Watch one of your favorite scenes and act it out together at the same time! Finish off the role-play by shooting your creamy load deep in to her ass then sucking it back out!
Hi Michael! To be honest, other than the occasional gal I bring home for a threesome, I am actually monogamous outside of shooting scenes. I doubt I will live the rest of my life with any one person, I am a serial monogamist...in a relationship more often than not! Part of my pattern has to do with my personal preference, and part of it with my responsibility to my industry. I would *hate* to be patient-zero for some outbreak because I was out sexing it up and had a condom fail!
I have done anal cream-pies both in scenes and in my personal life. I enjoy anal sex, whether it be on-set or at home. There is a difference in "technique" (for lack of a better word) in accepting a load of cum in a scene versus in personal life. When filming, the intent is to let the cum drip back out of the ass for the viewer to enjoy. This calls for a bit of tricky timing on the part of the male talent. He has to know when he is going to shoot his load, back halfway out of the anus without breaking completely free of it and hold still while he cums. If he pulls all of the way out, it is not a cream-pie. If he stays deep in the ass, it won't be able to be seen dripping back out proving the orgasm was real. Trickier than you thought, huh? ;) In my personal bed, there doesn't need to be that much planning! I can just take a load of jizz, roll over and go to sleep!
Hi Aleksey! I tend to not get too involved with any drama that pops up on set or at events. Now, I am not going to say I have not opened my mouth and expressed an opinion when I did not need to say anything! I am only human! *giggle* While I adore most of the people I work with (they *do* make up my social circle, after all), I cannot really think of anyone I really dislike. If I don't feel a kinship with someone, I just don't hang out with them. *shrug* I am certain there are people who don't think I am the grooviest thing since sliced bread...I mean, I am loud, opinionated and tend to be bossy! (Hey, I know my faults!) I have to say, though, I have been really lucky...the people that dislike me have been professional enough NOT to tell me! w00t!
Hi Dirk! I actually use vaginal contraceptive film. It isn't very tasty (occupational hazard I am afraid...once you start to fuck then go back to sucking, you get a bitingly harsh flavor of chemical goodness), but very effective! With my on-going weight battle, the constant barrage of chemicals from birth control pills is not an appealing option!
Hmmm...I am not exactly sure what you mean by "sex xxx"...sounds to me, tho, as if communication is your best bet here! Talk to her, find out what she enjoys sexually and what fails to "float her boat". Unfortunately, in long-term relationships, there is a tendency to fall in to a routine...once sex becomes the "same ol', same ol'" it becomes less of a priority in a relationship. Raising kids is BOUND to take it's toll on things as it is, if romance has been removed from the equation you're done for! Talk to her, fish around her psyche for some hints about dormant fantasies she may have and win her back! Remind her what it was about her that made you fight so hard for her hand in marriage! ALL women want a knight in shining armor to sweep her off her feet and in to the land of orgasm! (Editors note: not all knights are men! *wink wink*)
Hi Kelli! I am not going to delve into the "Are you sure you're ready?" part of this and just go on with the facts. I am sure you'll get enough of that from everyone else you know!
I am assuming there are no underlying medical conditions restricting your chances for conception and will touch on the basics. If that is *not* the case, lmk in a follow-up email? :)
First of all, timing in crucial when it comes to making a baby! I recommend MyMonthlyCycles. There you can register for a free account which allows you to not only track your girlie cycle, but you have access to scads of free calculators, resources, articles and other tools.
The days leading up to ovulation (as well as the day of) are the best times to fuck. having sex too often can actually be detrimental to the cause, so to speak. Men need time to reassemble their armies of little soldiers. Your partner avoiding ejaculation a day or two before the days leading up to ovulation will improve the strength of his juice, so to speak. Since your window of opportunity is only 12-24 hours (that is how long the egg lives), you need to be sure to try right before or on the day you're most fertile. Even ONE DAY after your date is too late! Position counts here, too! Missionary (the traditional, guy on top mode) works best, since it allows the sperm to be deposited closest to the cervix. Cowgirl or reverse cowgirl (gal on top...cowgirl means she is facing her mans face, reverse means she's facing away from him) are the worst...gravity just isn't on your side in those. Placing a pillow under your hips while in missionary helps a touch, as well. Stay elevated like that for 15-20 minutes, it encourages the semen to find the egg and fertilize it. Studies have shown that folic acid deficiency can hinder attempts at getting knocked up, so drink orange juice or take a multivitamin which has folic acid in it to tip the odds in your favor as well. Oh! ONE last thing: smoking is bad for sperm production! If either of you smoke...stop! You'll just be making it harder on yourselves if you don't! Good luck!
Like any other fetish, there are women turned on by a sub in delicates and others turned off by the idea. Find a fem-dom to help cultivate your newfound interest...you'll be amazed how many there are out there looking for a good slave!
Personally, I find any person willing to explore their sexuality thrilling and exciting; someone willing to entertain thoughts outside the norm is an added plus!
Hi Jason, thanks for writing!
Everything you need to know can be found here! Good luck!
Politely! *giggle*
Ok, I know work can be drudgery...but don't let the distraction of flirting cause you permanent freedom from the boringness of work! Sounds like this hottie is doing her part by keeping personal life personal and such. Do the same! If you need to minimize your contact with her until the 'newness' of her arrival passes then do so! While the extra help you and your office buddies are offering her now seems harmless enough, you are putting yourselves in a precarious position: the new skirt in the office might not object or complain, but the plain Jane's can still broadside you with discrimination charges since they are having to do all of their own work instead of skating by on their looks.
Stop thinking with your cock, I know...it is easier said than done...and use your melon instead. Office romances are bad news for everyone involved, if you feel like there is a connection between you two consider a departmental transfer or finding a new position elsewhere before pursuing it. You'll thank me in the long run!
Start her out gently, ease her in to the whole foot thing since she has already expressed a hang up over her dogs. Try taking her for a relaxing pedicure. It is hard to resist the feel of a warm, moist tongue on soft feet!
Why is she resistant? Is it a "feet are dirty" thing that the pedicure can resolve for you? Is she overly ticklish? Is she afraid you'll want her to reciprocate and she is not keen on the idea? Find out! Once you know what you need to overcome, it'll be easier to do so! Good luck!
Now for the bad news, it might be that the French kissing & cuddling with the other woman is all that your wife is actually comfortable doing. Should that be the case, pushing for more will cause far more damage to your relationship than you think! Ask her openly and honestly if that is the case. Seeing your reaction to watching her flirt with her gal pals may be all she is seeking. She may like the tenderness another woman offers or may like the "idea" of a same-sex experience but not be thrilled by the actuality of it. Simply ask your wife her limits. Through her attitude about the topic, as well as through her verbal answers, you will have a better understanding of the possibilities before you.
So... she is down for everything yet it never seems to happen and you want to know why...Where does the 'trail go cold', so to speak? Does she feel uncomfortable asking a friend to join the two of you? If so, I suggest she ask her friend when it is just the two of them. Your wife approaching her friend will minimize the pressure on both of the women (no one likes to feel put on the spot)... and helps show that you are not coercing your wife to make the invitation.
Having trouble finding a willing friend? Considering trying some of the online dating websites. Many of them, such as Adult Friend Finder offer a "couple seeking fun" type category for listing your personal ad.
I cannot express this warning strongly enough: If either party expresses hesitation in pushing further with this endeavor, no matter how slight of a hesitation, then stop ALL planning! It is a clear sign that your relationship is not ready for this step!!!
Good luck! I hope everything works out for the three of you! ;)
The best way to approach her is openly and honestly. If she has always emanated this essence... chose a time when you are not being intimate (in order to minimize the confrontational feel of things) to broach the subject. (Any time anything of an even remotely sexual nature in any way other than flattering needs to be handled delicately... to put it mildly!) Gently tell her than while you love her pussy, the muskiness of it can be too intoxicating at times. Maybe suggest that foreplay to the foreplay of fellatio be a bath together or a trip to the hot tub. Clarify for her that you are not questioning her hygiene, but simply wishing to dilute her natural juices. A change in her diet (possibly as simple as drinking more water or fruit juice), may help modify the musky aroma as well.
If, however, this is a new scent, tell her ASAP! She could have vaginitis or the beginnings of a yeast infection!
As for what to do with them... the same things you do with guys minus the penis! Some women prefer the softer side of sex with the emphasis on licking and petting; others enjoy toys and strap ons. There is no "standard" girl-girl scenario. Of course, there are several porn films featuring all girl action offering some inspiration... one thing tho... personally, I never understood the whole "scissoring" thing. I have dated/fucked women for years and never did scissoring happen. I fail to see the thrill of it; the clit contact is limited and (if jarred) can be painful. All I can think about is that in a film context, guys must think it looks good because no woman I have ever spoken to about it thinks it feels good!
Ok, back to the blow job issue. The only opinion that truly matters is your own. You cannot betray your own moral code/comfort levels and still enjoy this relationship. You must set your own limitations and stick with them. This is not to say that limits do not change or that these are carved in stone. This is just to clarify that the only stone mason worthy of changing these personal rules is yourself. Going against your beliefs, your moral code and your boundaries will not "save" a failing relationship. It will merely open the door for resentment and a power-struggle every other time you try to refuse anything else asked of you. If you loose him, you loose him. If you loose yourself, you have lost everything.
Can you catch an STD from a blow job? Yeppers! You sure can! Recent research has even turned up a few cases of HIV being transmitted via oral sex (in case you have not put two and two together and come up with four, the person sucking got it, not the person getting sucked). You could also fall prey to chlamydia, gonorrhea, NGU, herpes or syphilis. The good news is that all of these STDs (except herpes) are curable with modern medicine.
Before he tries to con you with, "I'll pull out before I cum!" crap, remember this: Sex is a lot like basketball, everyone dribbles before they shoot! Pre-cum can carry the same bacteria, virus, infection, etc. If your decision to save certain sexual activities for marriage was not crucial enough to keep him from getting involved with you, why has it suddenly become an issue to him now? If he thought he would just "wait you out" on it, drop him. If he is wanting locker room bravado, drop him. If a hummer is more important to him than everything else that makes you who you are, drop him. There ARE good men out there, try not to kiss too many frogs before you find your prince!
In all seriousness, there seems to be, at least in the US, a stigma of 'dirtiness' attached to anal sex and women who enjoy it. This is unearned! As long as the anus is clean, anal sex isn't a dirty deed! There is a reason why there are so many nerve endings waitng to be tickled there, a reason why it feels good. One of the advantages of anal sex is the positioning allows easier access to the g-spot for the man. The reason? The thin membrane that separates the anal cavity and he vaginal cavity lets the pressure from the thrusting to be felt in-full. The angle of penetration lines up with that sometimes hard-to-find spot... the result? Mind-blowing vaginal orgasms can be acheived via back-door loving! Talk about a double bonus!
Now, armed with this temptation, how do we get him to go there? Make sure he realizes that you want this for you! Not that you are trying to merely please him by offering this up to him. Ask him what about anal sex makes him uncomfortable. Try starting out slowly, too... a finger in your ass once in a while during sex, moving up eventually to a toy, maybe letting him watch you masturbate yourself anally with a toy until that lightning bolt of realization hits him and he gets it: She really wants this! Some things are what I call "deal-breakers", meaning there is no resolution available and you're at a stalemate. For your sake, I hope this is not one of those things!
My primary concern here is the fact that he finds it "degrading" yet still entertains fantasies about fucking someone eles in the ass. If it is degrading to do to you (well, it is more "with" you than to you), then why would he think it different when it is another woman? Maybe some unconfronted anger towards women in general? Or maybe he doesn't find it degrading at all yet has a quite common misconception that because it involves a penis and an asshole it somehow pulls his sexuality into question? Possibly he isn't turned on by the thought but is afraid to admit it to you since you are grooving on the idea... No matter the reason, communication is what it is going to take for you to have a chance at getting what you want on this one! Please take a minute to read this entry about anal sex basics... make sure he does as well! Good luck!
Hello Crystal. We can fix this! First of all, you have GOT to be honest with him. Knock off the play-acting. If he thinks he is doing what it takes to get you off, he will never change what he does and you will never be truly satisfied. This sounds to me a lot like a combination of insecurity and male bravado. (No man wants to hear murmurs that he has a sexually unsatisfied girlfriend, if you've told your best friend about this I PROMISE she has told someone else.) At a time when you are NOT in the moment, when you are NOT doing anything sexual, you need to tenderly broach this subject. Tell him the truth. That you enjoy sex with him, love it when he fucks the Hell out of you but that the pressure of his constant interrogation is keeping you from relaxing and enjoying your sex to the fullest. Feel like you cannot bring this up out of the blue? Or you have and he is slipping back in to that crappy ass pattern? When you are in bed getting frisky, ask him to slow it down. Respond enthusiastically both verbally and physically to "good touch" and minimally to "bad touch". If you let your body lead, his cock WILL follow!
Now, the squirting thing. Yeah, I know this one from experience. I am more of a gusher, but have been known to squirt wickedly once in a while. I don't guarantee it, tho. I have not mastered it enough yet! I am still working on the reliability factor. The thing with squirting is this: you have to be totally relaxed and totally in the moment. The more pressured you are to squirt, the less likely you will. Period. If you are interested in teaching yourself to squirt, I recommend Nina Hartley's Guide. I know her personally and she has a gift for teaching! She is concise and keeps it simple. I adore her!
Crystal, stop faking the moans unless you are willing to spend the rest of this relationship in a sexual quagmire. Eventually, if you haven't already, you will begin to resent your man and dread sex. Why?! Let me know how it turns out? :)
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