Ask Kayla Quinn

[November 13, 2008] -

Hello Aryan, first off...thank you! Now, on to your question...not only is it proper to tell your girlfriend about your fantasies, it is strongly advisable! Communicating your desires increases your chances of having them met many times over! I am a firm believer in communication between intimately involved people.

[October 30, 2008] -

Romantic talk vs. dirty talk; the age-old battle continues! When it comes to romantic dialogue, adjectives are your best friend! Rely on the five senses to guide you. Whatever you see, smell, hear, taste and touch need be communicated with adjectives galore! Want to really impress your woman? Spend a few moments on Thesaurus.com and find alternate words for things such as soft, silky, sweet, etc. Fight the urge to say things like, "I want to wreck that tight pussy!" Not romantic, if you know what I mean. Want to convey a similar thought? Tell her you'd like to "nudge your way in to her, feeling her moist lips part and make way for your cock...accommodating your girth, but only so...her tender warmth wrapping around your cock..." well, you get the idea! Good luck on this and (once you've perfected it) start teaching courses! Too few men utilize romantic bedroom talk, IMHO.

[October 27, 2008] -

Concerned about sexing a new partner for the first time? Don't want to break your bank renting enough porn films to pick up the tips and tricks? No problem! Here are some basic tips and tricks to help you...ummm...go the distance! First of all, shake one out before your date. It generally takes longer to ejaculate the second time around. Make her work for it. ;)

Men take less time from moment of penetration to orgasm than women do, in order to prolong the physical act change your pace occasionally. If you feel as though you are about to shoot your load, change the rhythm and/or pace of your thrusts. You can also trick your body by distracting your mind; a good friend of mine told me he thought of Margaret Thatcher naked to keep from popping.

Should you feel as though you need more practice, I am sure your ex won't mind helping you out there! Have fun!

[October 19, 2008] -

It is normal...but not as likely to happen as Penthouse Forum letters make it appear...most private colleges have rules and legal qualms with faculty and students hooking up...

[October 5, 2008] -

Thank you, Will! I love reading kudos and accolades like this! *giggle*

As for your question, I am a big supporter of open communication between partners. Secrets of a sexual nature (whether about past partners, experiences or orientation) can sow feelings of distrust in a relationship, so get them out in the open as soon as possible. By being the one to tell your current girlfriend of your sexual orientation, you control where she hears it, how she hears it and when she hears it. Something of this magnitude does require a bit of planning, it needs to be handled delicately. Not only do you need to tell her you are bisexual, you need to tell her of any impact this will have on your partnership. Are you looking to bring another man in to the bedroom? Either for fun or as a third in this romance? Are you bisexual yet monogamous? Are you striving for a level of intimacy that requires there to be no secrets? Since you are unsure of her reaction, I do suggest you have this conversation sooner rather than later. Not to be an ass, but...eventually she will find a magazine you've hidden from her and instead of talking about your sexuality, you'll be defending your sneakiness.

Your sexuality is a MAJOR component of who you are. Give her the opportunity to get to know all of you, not just bits and pieces. If she loves you, then she loves all you are comprised of, in total.

Do women find bisexual men arousing? Some do, some do not. The woman who is right for you, will. I know, I sound cliche, but it is true. Sexual allure is not metered out by gender, persuasion, race, or any other broad category...it is metered out individually.

[October 2, 2008] -

There is something incredibly provocative about seeing a new lover undressed for the first time! Anticipation sends adrenaline coursing through your veins, whipping your hormones into a frenzy and sending your pulse off the charts...there is little that can top the passion of unconquered sexual territory. The newness of it all, paired with fear of rejection can be jarring. So, while the awkwardness of the moment may feel overwhelming and you're scrambling for anything to say or do to break the tension, giving your penis a silly name, playing ventriloquist with your cock-puppet or showing off a trick you've "taught your cock" might backfire on you. True...humor can break the ice, but once you've made your dick something to laugh at or about it can be difficult to regain that erotically charged atmosphere conducive to good shagging.

There is no formulaic penis presentation plan for me to set out before you. I actually did research this and, aside from mating and/or courtship customs practiced by remote tribes, was unable to find any guidelines pertaining to this matter. Here is the best advice I can give, and it comes only from my own experience: Don't over-practice for the moment; spontaneity is part of the thrill of sex and no one wants to feel as though they're watching the same performance dozens before have already seen.

[September 4, 2008] -

Rosa....RUN! DO not walk, but RUN away from your desire! This will never end well for you honey!

First of all, with our economy the way it is, if you have a job...hold on to it!! Don't risk your paycheck over a guy that might not be worth it...trust me, he doesn't have the only cock around! Second, for all you know...this might be a game that these two (your boss and her man) play back and forth. You might just be a pawn in a power struggle that will be tossed aside as soon as your 'alliance' has been proven. Also, if he really wanted to be with you, why would he still be with your boss? Had you told me he had dumped her, I *might* suggest dating him but not making a big deal of it...but he's still with his main-squeeze...Lastly, are you really in love with him? Or are you looking for a relationship and are mistaking the mild flirtation as 'the real thing'? How well can you possibly know him to say you LOVE him? Love is a very strong word that is tossed around way too often!

Rosa, PLEASE stay out of this messy, completely avoidable situation! Find a man who is not already spoken for...your bank account will appreciate it, your heart will appreciate it and (most of all) your self-esteem will appreciate it!

Good luck!

[September 1, 2008] -

Jarred, has your girlfriend given you a reason why she's hesitant to be banged in that position? Is she mentally/emotionally equating the name of the position to your view of her? Meaning, does she feel that being fucked in a doggy position make her feel as tho she is being fucked like a dog? Have you maybe...ummm....abused the power while in this position in the past? Maybe accidentally poked the wrong hole? Does she maybe feel that doggy is a "dirty girl" way of screwing?

Until you find out why, you cannot find a solution...I am afraid you will have to do the one thing that men fear most...ASK HER!

Ask her why, listen without interrupting, then start a conversation in earnest about her tentativeness.

[August 23, 2008] -

Since you have asked multiple questions, I am going to break this down a bit and take it chunk by chunk:
Do *I* like Indian guys? Yes, I have found myself attracted to men of that culture on more than one occasion! I tend to be drawn to people (both men and women) for personality traits rather than physical ones. If there is a geeky guy or a shy girl at the party, I will find my way to them like a moth to a flame! Intelligence balanced with a goofy, off-the-wall sense of humor are a deadly combination for a man to possess!

As for being in the South...my condolences! I hail from what I like to jokingly refer to as "East L.A....East Lower-Alabama...Pensacola, Fl." Having moved there from the San Francisco bay area, the culture shock nearly did me in. Things just seemed to move slower in the southern states. Be it fashion trends, music fads or dining rage things just seem to take longer to take root in that region. Don't get me wrong: I am not saying that the overall-wearing-inbred-redneck stereotype is accurate. I am, however, saying that being different there means you will have an slightly uphill battle in front of you. Do not try to lose your own individuality in an effort to 'blend in'. Betraying yourself and your culture won't get you anywhere. Seek out those who share common interests with you. If you see a need for a social group that doesn't exist, start a campaign to get it started! Academic interests, hobbies and activities are not bound by culture, race or creed. Even if you find yourself surrounded by people you have no interest in dating, remember this: everyone has friends and you never know who will introduce you to your next girlfriend! Don't give up on the laid-back attitude of the southern states...just relax, go with the flow. If you're going to be there for three more years, you have plenty of time to find the right person and don't need to rush to find the right-at-this-moment one!

Good luck, darling!

[July 22, 2008] -

That depends on a lot of factors, ranging from choosing the right plastic surgeon to following after-procedure instructions to over-all general health before the surgery! Let's go back and address some of the major causes for decreased sensitivity.

First and foremost: Research your plastic surgeon WELL. Most have a consultation fee, ranging anywhere between $100 to $500. Obviously your geographical area influences this to some degree. With each doctor charging a consultation fee of $250, I still managed to rack up $1000 in consultation fees before finding the plastic surgeon I felt best qualified to perform my procedure. The surgeon I finally decided on not only answered all of my questions (trust me, I had a LOT of them) thoroughly, he also let me contact former patients of his (these patients had volunteered to be references for situations like this) in order to ask them about his skill, compassion, professionalism, etc. I also made sure that I chose a doctor who belonged to The American Board of Plastic Surgery, The American Board of Medical Specialties and The American Society of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeons. Anything that is surgically placed inside my body permanently, I want to have done once and have it done right!

Consider the proposed incision point as well, the further from the implants the incisions, the more nerves they have to go through to get them in place! I have heard stories of implant insertion incisions being done through the navel, under the arm, under the actual breast (WAY old-school) and at the pigment line where the areaola meets the breast. I had my incisions (both my original breast augmentation and my reconstructive surgery after a skiing accident) done at my areolas. By limiting the number of nerves encountered by the surgeon, I limited the amount of potential nerve damage. My nipples are still incredibly sensitive! I still get little shirt pebbles every time a cool breeze blows.

Careful adherence to the post-op instructions given you by your doctor will increase the chances of a speedy and complete recovery. While your tissue is healing, the propensity to unwittingly cause further damage is at its highest. The body needs to heal, synapses reconnect...well, you get my point! If you've just had someone slice you open, force foreign objects in to your body and permanently seal them in there... common sense dictates you take it easy for a while! Follow even the silly sounding instructions. What sounds silly today can mean the difference between nice, round breasts and angry, missile-shaped disasters stuck on your chest!

Hate to say it, but...smokers...you will heal more slowly! Sorry. Not my fault! Same goes for you druggies and alcoholics! *giggle* If you are a smoker, try to quit for a few months before and after you get your new hooters. Your general health (and even some genetics) come in to play here. Eat crappy food a lot? You'll probably have a crappy recovery! Good musculature? Good framework for big fun bags! Get in shape before you buy your new shapes!

While the temptation to rip off the bandages, squeeze into a tube top and show off your new melons, resist it with all of your might! First of all, the new pockets cut in to your chest to hold those implants in place need to heal. You'd be surprised how heavy even moderate-sized saline implants can be. If that is not enough to sway you, remember this: It takes a few weeks for swelling to subside and your implants to settle. For the first month or so, you will most likely feel as though you are walking around with your tits bouncing against your chin...

If you cannot afford to be picky about who does your procedure, if you cannot find room in your budget for a second or even third consultation visit, you cannot afford your new boobs yet. Boobs are a privilege, not a right! *giggle*

Good luck!

[July 5, 2008] -

The short answer? She was a lying whore! The longer answer is as follows: sometimes a woman fakes an orgasm because she really wasn't in the mood to fuck and thinks if you think she's satiated, you'll finish up faster; some women feel too embarrassed or awkward to express what it takes for you to get them screaming in ecstasy (as if being sexually assertive is a BAD thing!); some fake it because they want to reward the "effort" their lover has made and do not wish to bruise the fragile male ego; some are just wanting to rob themselves of a good fuck! Why did I say that last one? Easy! If your partner isn't hitting it right, but you let him think he is he will never vary his technique. (Think: if it ain't broke, don't fix it...) By never speaking up, by actively misleading their fuck-buddy into thinking they are orgasming, they are dooming themselves to sexual disappointment. I will admit, I hate running a race that I will never cross the finish line of, but I hate the unrealistic portrayal that orgasms are 100% guaranteed even more. Open and honest communication about the romp is key. If she didn't get off yet offered no guidance for aiding her in doing so...she really cannot complain. Orgasms are like threesomes, no matter how hard you try for one, sometimes they happen and sometimes they just don't!

[July 2, 2008] -

HAHAHA! Ok, Lucy...step away from the pulpit! Phone sex is not creepy (unless it is a family member trying to dial you). First of all, creativity is like a muscle: it gets weaker the less it is exercised! The lack of face-to-face interaction lessens the embarrassment factor, too. It is often easier to say things on the phone than in person. Run with it!

Afraid you'll totally bomb at revving up your partners motor on the phone? Think you'll stumble for things to say? Start with small steps...maybe relive a past encounter, adding on things you would have liked to have done at the time. Praising your partners attributes (both physical and mental) can be an easy stepping off point as well. You might even get lucky enough to have a partner who is at ease and does most of the talking, allowing you to listen and catch the drift of it all!

Besides, phone sex has gotten me through many a boring day when I held an office job!

[June 4, 2008] -

Interesting Adam...very interesting! I am wondering if maybe you just prefer the extra stimulation provided by her gripping fingers...you just might be a hand-job kind of guy! I know a few blow-job kind of guys...they love to fuck, but need the sucking action to mentally and physically get themselves to orgasm. There is nothing wrong with knowing what you like, hun!

Is this a new situation for you? Is this the first sex partner you have had this issue with? If so, experiment with different positions. It may just be that you need to find the perfect spot for your cock! If it is not a new thing, and you have always been more into the grip than the slip just tell your girlfriend. If you let her think it is "her", then the sexual situation will never get better for the two of you. Feeling inferior doesn't tend to make a woman feel hot.

[May 21, 2008] -

Hi Tom! Thanks for the compliment, first of all! I used to hate my tushy, but I have grown to appreciate it over the past few years.

I enjoy getting spanked on occasion, but I must admit that it is a rarity that I allow myself to be dominated by a woman. It has only happened on film, never in my real life. Since I have a strong personality, I tend to be more dominant rather than submissive when it comes to other females. Usually, I tend to 'control' my personal relationships but once in a while I flip into a total sub for a man. It really just depends on how our personalities click, to be honest.

I am not usually prone to physical violence, but I have kicked a girlie ass or two! LOL Too bad the few cat-fights I have been involved in were not filmed!

No woman has, other than on-set, ever spanked me. As far as the scenes in which I have been dommed by a woman, I have enjoyed it on more of a humorous level than a sexual one.

[May 6, 2008] -

While guys in porn are held up as the ideal when it comes to penis size, ideal as they may be, they are not average! That is part of the reason they are in porn. These genital giants are not the norm...The average penis size is actually between 5.5 to 6.4 inches in erect length and 4.7 to 5.2 inches in girth. Ask a typical woman what size cock she likes and you'll get as many answers as you have typical women! Keep in mind here, the g-spot you're aiming to stimulate is only two inches up on the inside upper wall of the vagina; having a monster cock is not a factor on that! Learning to use what you've got will far out-shadow any size concerns you may or may not have. By experimenting with various positions, listening to your lover (both verbal language and body language) and stimulating her erogenous zones will accomplish far more than seeking out the ONE woman who quoted your penis size as her ideal! Some gals crave long, girthy cocks; some crave shorter, yet fatter ones; still others want slender yet long....there are so many combinations and something desirable about each, few of us ladies limit ourselves to just one type! The human body is amazing, it can accommodate almost any size penis! ;)

[April 23, 2008] -

Hi Mario! Has she said or implied anything about an unsavory aroma? Or are you being overly cautious? I am just curious. *giggle*

A slight change in your diet could affect the aroma you're concerned with. Fresh fruits, lots of water, limited caffeine and limited smoking/alcohol consumption will help a lot. Everything you metabolize passes through your skin as fragrance. Keep that in mind the next time you are out guzzling coffee along with that pack of smokes!

A common mistake guys make is spraying their cock and balls with cologne. YUCK! It tastes terrible and makes us gals limit the amount of time those parts are in our mouths! Nice, dry, clean twings and berries are the safest bet!

[April 12, 2008] -

Thank you! I used to hate my double-bubble but have grown to love it in recent years! *giggle*

As for your questions...her pulling away may be for one or more reasons. Maybe she is ticklish? Maybe she doesn't like the idea of "dirty feet"? Perhaps she is concerned about the appearance of her feet? Not all of us women like our hooves, you know! I would suggest you treat her to a spa pedicure gift certificate. After her tootsies have been treated, buffed, polished and groomed, ask her to let you show her how much you love the pedicured paws! Be sensitive to any objections, some are easily overcome others are deal-breakers.

Mmmmm.....anal sex! One of my favorites! Personally, I do not think anal sex is a good choice for spontaneity! Because of my slow metabolism, I generally try not to eat anything substantial for 12 hours prior. I enema until I get a clean rinse, for the second rinse (and any more that need to be done), I refill the enema bottle with warm water. The chemicals in enemas can dehydrate if used too much. I assume this is new to your relationship and possibly to both of you? If so, I encourage you to brush up on your basic anal sex skills by reading through past articles found here. Good luck!

[April 9, 2008] -

Sweetie, if you are getting this much of a run-around, RUN! Do not walk away from her, RUN! You have overheard her say something only to deny it to you later. This relationship is not based on honesty and trust. It is toxic. Your mortality is too valuable to risk. It is not the 1950's where the worst you could get was pregnant or in need of penicillin. The fact that you specified your relationship was committed "on my end at least" threw up warning flags (I can still hear the "Lost in Space" robot shouting, "Danger Will Robinson, danger!" in my mind). Get out. Find someone who not only respects you enough to be honest but respects themself enough to be accountable for their actions.

BTW, if you try bothering to confront her, you will hear a weak excuse/justification for each and every tale that you call to her attention. She will lie, twist and exaggerate and you will want to believe her. Don't bother. How many times will you get hit with a spinning plane propeller before you realize, "This hurts, I should move!"?

Don't give up on having a happy relationship. There ARE good potential partners out there...she is just not one of them. You know what you want, do not settle for less than you deserve!

[March 28, 2008] -

Hi Brendon! There are a few "tricks of the trade" that may help you here! I suggest stroking one out before the actual sex starts. We all know that the second orgasm takes a guy longer to reach than the first. Once fucking, thinking of something less than sexually enticing (I've heard anything from baseball to car repairs to Margaret Thatcher in a bikini) can help hold back the tide so to speak. Another trick used on set? Change the tempo of the thrusting or change positions/switch to having your cock sucked! Hope these suggestions help!

BTW, clearing the air and letting her know your concern might help alleviate some of the mental pressure and make things easier on you as well!

[March 13, 2008] -

Hi Joe...have you tried just asking her why she is so hesitant to suck cock? It may be as simple as a past bad experience! I realize that you say you are fine without the oral gratification, so I will move on to the actual questions!

I did find a fairly comprehensive list (along with photos) of sexual positions here. As far as my favorite positions, I must admit to being a creature of habit when it comes to non-film sex! I tend to enjoy missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy and a bit of pile-driver when at home. Out of that list, the two I would assume to be least likely used by non-film folk are reverse cowgirl and pile-driver. Pile-driver can be a bit tricky; it requires not only the proper setting but for both parties to be paying apt attention to prevent injury!

[March 10, 2008] -

Hi Michael! Nope, not too invasive at all!

Just like everyone else's relationships on the planet, mine go through good times and bad. Sometimes things at home are splendiferous, sometimes not so much! While I love getting banged hard on set, there is a certain emotional intimacy within my relationships that tends to keep me tightly tethered. I am not going to claim that "real life sex" is always the best, but it is the best consistently! I can always count on my boyfriend du jour to know exactly what it takes to float my boat AND I do not have to worry about whether or not it looks good! *giggle*

When it comes to sex, I know no guilt, babe!

[March 2, 2008] -

Talk about a trick question Steve! Part of me says to leave out any name (other than your wife's) when telling her your fantasies...part of me says to live it out with her! Maybe a compromise is in order here? Watch one of your favorite scenes and act it out together at the same time! Finish off the role-play by shooting your creamy load deep in to her ass then sucking it back out!

[February 18, 2008] -

Hi Michael! To be honest, other than the occasional gal I bring home for a threesome, I am actually monogamous outside of shooting scenes. I doubt I will live the rest of my life with any one person, I am a serial monogamist...in a relationship more often than not! Part of my pattern has to do with my personal preference, and part of it with my responsibility to my industry. I would *hate* to be patient-zero for some outbreak because I was out sexing it up and had a condom fail!

[February 11, 2008] -

I have done anal cream-pies both in scenes and in my personal life. I enjoy anal sex, whether it be on-set or at home. There is a difference in "technique" (for lack of a better word) in accepting a load of cum in a scene versus in personal life. When filming, the intent is to let the cum drip back out of the ass for the viewer to enjoy. This calls for a bit of tricky timing on the part of the male talent. He has to know when he is going to shoot his load, back halfway out of the anus without breaking completely free of it and hold still while he cums. If he pulls all of the way out, it is not a cream-pie. If he stays deep in the ass, it won't be able to be seen dripping back out proving the orgasm was real. Trickier than you thought, huh? ;) In my personal bed, there doesn't need to be that much planning! I can just take a load of jizz, roll over and go to sleep!

[February 1, 2008] -

Hi Aleksey! I tend to not get too involved with any drama that pops up on set or at events. Now, I am not going to say I have not opened my mouth and expressed an opinion when I did not need to say anything! I am only human! *giggle* While I adore most of the people I work with (they *do* make up my social circle, after all), I cannot really think of anyone I really dislike. If I don't feel a kinship with someone, I just don't hang out with them. *shrug* I am certain there are people who don't think I am the grooviest thing since sliced bread...I mean, I am loud, opinionated and tend to be bossy! (Hey, I know my faults!) I have to say, though, I have been really lucky...the people that dislike me have been professional enough NOT to tell me! w00t!

[January 7, 2008] -

Hi Dirk! I actually use vaginal contraceptive film. It isn't very tasty (occupational hazard I am afraid...once you start to fuck then go back to sucking, you get a bitingly harsh flavor of chemical goodness), but very effective! With my on-going weight battle, the constant barrage of chemicals from birth control pills is not an appealing option!

[December 30, 2007] -

Hmmm...I am not exactly sure what you mean by "sex xxx"...sounds to me, tho, as if communication is your best bet here! Talk to her, find out what she enjoys sexually and what fails to "float her boat". Unfortunately, in long-term relationships, there is a tendency to fall in to a routine...once sex becomes the "same ol', same ol'" it becomes less of a priority in a relationship. Raising kids is BOUND to take it's toll on things as it is, if romance has been removed from the equation you're done for! Talk to her, fish around her psyche for some hints about dormant fantasies she may have and win her back! Remind her what it was about her that made you fight so hard for her hand in marriage! ALL women want a knight in shining armor to sweep her off her feet and in to the land of orgasm! (Editors note: not all knights are men! *wink wink*)

[December 16, 2007] -

Hi Kelli! I am not going to delve into the "Are you sure you're ready?" part of this and just go on with the facts. I am sure you'll get enough of that from everyone else you know!

I am assuming there are no underlying medical conditions restricting your chances for conception and will touch on the basics. If that is *not* the case, lmk in a follow-up email? :)

First of all, timing in crucial when it comes to making a baby! I recommend MyMonthlyCycles. There you can register for a free account which allows you to not only track your girlie cycle, but you have access to scads of free calculators, resources, articles and other tools.

The days leading up to ovulation (as well as the day of) are the best times to fuck. having sex too often can actually be detrimental to the cause, so to speak. Men need time to reassemble their armies of little soldiers. Your partner avoiding ejaculation a day or two before the days leading up to ovulation will improve the strength of his juice, so to speak. Since your window of opportunity is only 12-24 hours (that is how long the egg lives), you need to be sure to try right before or on the day you're most fertile. Even ONE DAY after your date is too late! Position counts here, too! Missionary (the traditional, guy on top mode) works best, since it allows the sperm to be deposited closest to the cervix. Cowgirl or reverse cowgirl (gal on top...cowgirl means she is facing her mans face, reverse means she's facing away from him) are the worst...gravity just isn't on your side in those. Placing a pillow under your hips while in missionary helps a touch, as well. Stay elevated like that for 15-20 minutes, it encourages the semen to find the egg and fertilize it. Studies have shown that folic acid deficiency can hinder attempts at getting knocked up, so drink orange juice or take a multivitamin which has folic acid in it to tip the odds in your favor as well. Oh! ONE last thing: smoking is bad for sperm production! If either of you smoke...stop! You'll just be making it harder on yourselves if you don't! Good luck!

[December 2, 2007] -

Like any other fetish, there are women turned on by a sub in delicates and others turned off by the idea. Find a fem-dom to help cultivate your newfound interest...you'll be amazed how many there are out there looking for a good slave!

Personally, I find any person willing to explore their sexuality thrilling and exciting; someone willing to entertain thoughts outside the norm is an added plus!

[November 30, 2007] -

Hi Jason, thanks for writing!

Everything you need to know can be found here! Good luck!

[November 26, 2007] -

Politely! *giggle*

[November 26, 2007] -

Ok, I know work can be drudgery...but don't let the distraction of flirting cause you permanent freedom from the boringness of work! Sounds like this hottie is doing her part by keeping personal life personal and such. Do the same! If you need to minimize your contact with her until the 'newness' of her arrival passes then do so! While the extra help you and your office buddies are offering her now seems harmless enough, you are putting yourselves in a precarious position: the new skirt in the office might not object or complain, but the plain Jane's can still broadside you with discrimination charges since they are having to do all of their own work instead of skating by on their looks.

Stop thinking with your cock, I know...it is easier said than done...and use your melon instead. Office romances are bad news for everyone involved, if you feel like there is a connection between you two consider a departmental transfer or finding a new position elsewhere before pursuing it. You'll thank me in the long run!

[November 22, 2007] -

Start her out gently, ease her in to the whole foot thing since she has already expressed a hang up over her dogs. Try taking her for a relaxing pedicure. It is hard to resist the feel of a warm, moist tongue on soft feet!

Why is she resistant? Is it a "feet are dirty" thing that the pedicure can resolve for you? Is she overly ticklish? Is she afraid you'll want her to reciprocate and she is not keen on the idea? Find out! Once you know what you need to overcome, it'll be easier to do so! Good luck!

[November 9, 2007] - Hi Grant! First, make sure you have read the 3-some basics here... Basic rules of etiquette are covered there, make sure you both read it thoroughly!

Now for the bad news, it might be that the French kissing & cuddling with the other woman is all that your wife is actually comfortable doing. Should that be the case, pushing for more will cause far more damage to your relationship than you think! Ask her openly and honestly if that is the case. Seeing your reaction to watching her flirt with her gal pals may be all she is seeking. She may like the tenderness another woman offers or may like the "idea" of a same-sex experience but not be thrilled by the actuality of it. Simply ask your wife her limits. Through her attitude about the topic, as well as through her verbal answers, you will have a better understanding of the possibilities before you.

So... she is down for everything yet it never seems to happen and you want to know why...Where does the 'trail go cold', so to speak? Does she feel uncomfortable asking a friend to join the two of you? If so, I suggest she ask her friend when it is just the two of them. Your wife approaching her friend will minimize the pressure on both of the women (no one likes to feel put on the spot)... and helps show that you are not coercing your wife to make the invitation.

Having trouble finding a willing friend? Considering trying some of the online dating websites. Many of them, such as Adult Friend Finder offer a "couple seeking fun" type category for listing your personal ad.

I cannot express this warning strongly enough: If either party expresses hesitation in pushing further with this endeavor, no matter how slight of a hesitation, then stop ALL planning! It is a clear sign that your relationship is not ready for this step!!!

Good luck! I hope everything works out for the three of you! ;)

[October 16, 2007] - Well, first of all, every woman has a different scent to her. It is just plain chemistry. There are several factors which play a part including her diet, hygiene, genetics and general health. Is this musky smell offensive? Or just different than you are used to? Is this a new thing? Or has her body always smelled this way? Are you concerned than she may have an infection of some sort? Or do you just like a woman with a lighter bouquet?

The best way to approach her is openly and honestly. If she has always emanated this essence... chose a time when you are not being intimate (in order to minimize the confrontational feel of things) to broach the subject. (Any time anything of an even remotely sexual nature in any way other than flattering needs to be handled delicately... to put it mildly!) Gently tell her than while you love her pussy, the muskiness of it can be too intoxicating at times. Maybe suggest that foreplay to the foreplay of fellatio be a bath together or a trip to the hot tub. Clarify for her that you are not questioning her hygiene, but simply wishing to dilute her natural juices. A change in her diet (possibly as simple as drinking more water or fruit juice), may help modify the musky aroma as well.

If, however, this is a new scent, tell her ASAP! She could have vaginitis or the beginnings of a yeast infection!

[September 28, 2007] - Hi Sammie. Let me share with you a method I use to help me decide on things I am unsure of. "When in doubt, don't." If I am unsure I want to do something, then I do not really want to do it. If there is any question in my mind, then I wait on it. It does not sound to me like you are ready to take this step yet. As for the "If you love me..." crap: If HE loved YOU he would never drop that line of crap on you in an effort to manipulate you in to letting him have his way. I am sure petting through his pants feels good, to both of you. After all, hormones raging always makes things feel intense! Wait on this, honey. Once you lose your virginity, you cannot find it again. Why reward negative behavior (the "if you love me" crap) with something so incredible? Does it hurt the first time? Yup, but you get used to it and then it feels great!

[September 27, 2007] - Now you know how men everywhere feel! All kidding aside, there is no "Mecca" filled with women waiting to be picked up and swept off their feet. There is no specific place I can tell you to hang out hoping to score some girlie love. As with relationships everywhere, meeting someone new (bi, straight or gay) seems like the hard part. You have probably met bi-sexual or bi-curious women already and have just not recognized them for who they are yet. Telling someone "I want to sleep with you", having just met them, is pretty brazen! Think of it like this: If you met a man in the grocery and he threw that line down on you, how would you react? Exactly! Should you meet a woman you are attracted to, I suggest letting her know your interest as early as possible. No sense getting too excited should she turn out not to be in tune with your thinking. Generally, if there is chemistry between you two, you'll know it.

As for what to do with them... the same things you do with guys minus the penis! Some women prefer the softer side of sex with the emphasis on licking and petting; others enjoy toys and strap ons. There is no "standard" girl-girl scenario. Of course, there are several porn films featuring all girl action offering some inspiration... one thing tho... personally, I never understood the whole "scissoring" thing. I have dated/fucked women for years and never did scissoring happen. I fail to see the thrill of it; the clit contact is limited and (if jarred) can be painful. All I can think about is that in a film context, guys must think it looks good because no woman I have ever spoken to about it thinks it feels good!

[September 25, 2007] - Hi Jerry! NOT everyone can deep throat, but here are a few tips to increase the chances! Position is paramount; get in a position where you can extend and straighten your neck by slightly tilting your head back (think: making the neck and chin form as straight of a line as possible). By creating that angle, you'll have an easier time swallowing the cock. I suggest the guy lay on his back, allowing the giver of the bj to control not only the angle but the speed of things. Plus, you can prop yourself up on your elbows. Make sure to lube the shaft of the cock up with saliva. Licking up and down the rod not only gets it ready to glide more easily down a throat, but acts as fellatio foreplay. Once you're set and the cock is lubed, slightly tilt your head back and stick out the tip of your tongue just past your bottom lip. "Flatten" your tongue, I know that sounds strange, let me explain. You know when you ask someone if your tonsils look red... and you have them look at the back of your throat? You flatten your tongue so they can get a better look... do like that, but without extending your tongue quite so far out of your mouth. Sticking your tongue out helps flatten the back of your tongue a bit, that's one of the reasons I suggest it. Open your throat like you would if you were yawning. (This helps create a larger passage for the cock to enter through.) Taking a deep breath, slowly slide the penis into your mouth. If you feel like you are going to gag, freeze for a second. Hold everything where it is for as long as you can, then back the cock out a bit. Keep doing this same step as many times as you can. By easing in to things and taking your time, you will start to be able to take more and more of the shaft in to your throat. Make sure your partner is patient. Tempting as it may be for him to "ram" his cock down your throat, he needs to let you control the speed. Deep throating needs to be fun for both of you! Best of luck!

[September 22, 2007] - FIRST of all... have you forgotten about AIM? AIM is Adult Industry Medical Health Care Foundation, it is a non-profit corporation and it is the single most important stop on any adult performers itinerary! While primarily serving the adult industry, "civilians" are welcome to use AIM as well. Go there first! EVEN if condoms are being used for actual intercourse, both of you... go to AIM! It is worth the peace of mind.

Ok, back to the blow job issue. The only opinion that truly matters is your own. You cannot betray your own moral code/comfort levels and still enjoy this relationship. You must set your own limitations and stick with them. This is not to say that limits do not change or that these are carved in stone. This is just to clarify that the only stone mason worthy of changing these personal rules is yourself. Going against your beliefs, your moral code and your boundaries will not "save" a failing relationship. It will merely open the door for resentment and a power-struggle every other time you try to refuse anything else asked of you. If you loose him, you loose him. If you loose yourself, you have lost everything.

Can you catch an STD from a blow job? Yeppers! You sure can! Recent research has even turned up a few cases of HIV being transmitted via oral sex (in case you have not put two and two together and come up with four, the person sucking got it, not the person getting sucked). You could also fall prey to chlamydia, gonorrhea, NGU, herpes or syphilis. The good news is that all of these STDs (except herpes) are curable with modern medicine.

Before he tries to con you with, "I'll pull out before I cum!" crap, remember this: Sex is a lot like basketball, everyone dribbles before they shoot! Pre-cum can carry the same bacteria, virus, infection, etc. If your decision to save certain sexual activities for marriage was not crucial enough to keep him from getting involved with you, why has it suddenly become an issue to him now? If he thought he would just "wait you out" on it, drop him. If he is wanting locker room bravado, drop him. If a hummer is more important to him than everything else that makes you who you are, drop him. There ARE good men out there, try not to kiss too many frogs before you find your prince!

[September 21, 2007] - Oh my! Throwing away 15 years because things have fallen in to a rut seems like such a waste to me! Hopefully, this can be resolved (or at least improved) by opening up the lines of communication between the two of you. If you're unable to get the ball rolling alone, I do suggest counseling! First off, have you spoken to her about your desires when you are *not* in the bedroom? The reason I ask is simple. Sex is a touchy topic for just about everyone, so is criticism and rejection... by the time you combine all three in one conversation... ugh! Your best tools here are: timing and phrasing. At a time when sex is not on the horizon, so to speak, when there has been no playful banter and when you are NOT in the primary copulation room, bring the subject up gently. Avoid things such as, "You never move, it is like fucking a corpse!" or "Why do I always have to initiate sex?" These types of statements will put your wife on the defensive and lessen your chances of her actually absorbing what you have to say. Instead, phrase things more along the lines of, "I was reminiscing about the time we..... (fill in the blank).... the other day. I miss that playfulness, how can we recapture that?" This says to her: I was thinking about you in a sexual situation, we have had wonderful times which I look forward to more of and I value your input on this. Also, asking what she would like to take from your encounters will help free up the lines of communication. Unsettled arguments or hurt feelings tend to manifest themselves via sex, too. Any resentment might be throwing a monkey-wrench in to your monkey business. This is one of those things that requires having one of those talks that we all dread (but usually benefit from) having. Accepting the "problem" but doing nothing to rectify it, makes your partially liable for it. Cheating will not help at all, you'll just feel worse about yourself. Also, if you have managed to stay together for 15 YEARS, there is obviously a reason and something worth salvaging! Oh! ONE last thing! I am *not* a young hottie! I am 37! ;) Good luck!

[September 18, 2007] - Are you KIDDING me?! This has got to be a joke! The love of your life is about to win the sexual lotto! Just tell him honestly, bluntly and soon! If he is talking to you about the threesome, then I see no reason why he would be upset with you for being able to bring skills to the game! He may be sore at you for waiting so long to tell him, but just tell him the truth: you weren't sure how he'd react.

[September 11, 2007] - There are several things to address here and I hope I hit them all! First off... have your told your wife yet? You really need to, I know, I know, you don't really want to do it, but it needs to be done. I remember years ago, a syndicated newspaper advice columnist told someone who wrote in *not* to tell his wife about a one-time affair; she claimed that the pain it would cause her was not worth it since it was a one-time dalliance. I never read her column again. Honesty is foremost here. The fact that you not only stepped outside of your relationship but did so with someone you just met is concerning to me. Yes, he sucked you off limiting your chances for catching an STD. The point of the matter is, though, you allowed yourself to get caught up in the moment without regard to sexual responsibility (I read nothing about a condom... and yeah, I know, a bj through a condom is no where NEAR as good, it's just safer). The fact that this was a stud you "picked up" tells me that there was no trip to AIM or any equivalent to it. Shame on you! This is not the '70's where just about anything you caught was cured by penicillin! Ok, back to the spouse... You need to tell her because it is the right thing to do. If that is not motivation enough, tell her before she hears it from someone else causing her to feel not only betrayed but humiliated as well. NO ONE likes to be the last to know about something that they SHOULD have been the first to know about! You are, unfortunately, in the position of "damage control". You need to do what you can to squeak through this situation. One drunken office party is all it is going to take before the secret is out and reaches your wife's ear! Besides, by telling her yourself you control where and when she finds out, you will not be on pins and needles waiting and dreading this coming to light. Discuss your bi-sexual desires with your wife, a threesome with another man might just be the ticket to keeping everyone happy and fantasies explored. Once everyone knows the situation, it can be a fantastic experience without the guilt or fear afterwards. As for the intruding co-workers. I am afraid there is not much that can be done to stop tongues from wagging in the office. Any attempt to "explain" the situation (I personally don't think there is anything in NEED of explanation), will only stir the pot more and drag more people in to the fray. I would remain civil, make no comment on this, and try to treat the folk who walked in on you as equally as you did before they interrupted. Should you face confrontation, politely smile and remind the person 'work is work and personal life has no place in it'. Confronted by someone who "heard from a guy who heard from a guy that you..."? Smile, and say, "Must be a slow gossip day today!" turn back to your work and by actions alone, show that you are not discussing it further. It may seem like the end of your world right now, but someone else will do something outrageous and your story will fall out of the spotlight in favor of the newer one. Last but not least, the cab driver. Etiquette considered, I hope he gave you a hefty discount on the fare! Sounds to me like one was well-earned!

[September 9, 2007] - Hi Tarri... my advice? EMBRACE the new you! If you run in to someone who knew you when you were chunkier and they mention your weight loss, take it as a compliment no matter how they intended the comment to be taken. Truth be told, I get it all of the time! My weight fluctuates vastly. I have had male talent actually TELL me they were nervous when they got booked with me because I was "so heavy" only to feel relieved when I showed up thinner than they had thought I would be. Talk about making me feel sexy! Ugh! Instead of being embarrassed of your past look, be proud of your current one! YOU did this. YOU lost the weight. YOU made the change in your life and in yourself. As for anyone who brushed you off after a "fat fling"... screw them! You were good enough for them then, remind them of that fact should they try to rain on your parade now!

[September 6, 2007] - Hmmm... there are a few deep-seeded issues here! First of all, if he feels it is degrading, why does he fantasize about it with other women? Sort of makes ya think, huh? Ok, let's figure out WHY he thinks it is degrading! Is this a surpressed memory of being scared crazy watching "Deliverance"? Just kidding!

In all seriousness, there seems to be, at least in the US, a stigma of 'dirtiness' attached to anal sex and women who enjoy it. This is unearned! As long as the anus is clean, anal sex isn't a dirty deed! There is a reason why there are so many nerve endings waitng to be tickled there, a reason why it feels good. One of the advantages of anal sex is the positioning allows easier access to the g-spot for the man. The reason? The thin membrane that separates the anal cavity and he vaginal cavity lets the pressure from the thrusting to be felt in-full. The angle of penetration lines up with that sometimes hard-to-find spot... the result? Mind-blowing vaginal orgasms can be acheived via back-door loving! Talk about a double bonus!

Now, armed with this temptation, how do we get him to go there? Make sure he realizes that you want this for you! Not that you are trying to merely please him by offering this up to him. Ask him what about anal sex makes him uncomfortable. Try starting out slowly, too... a finger in your ass once in a while during sex, moving up eventually to a toy, maybe letting him watch you masturbate yourself anally with a toy until that lightning bolt of realization hits him and he gets it: She really wants this! Some things are what I call "deal-breakers", meaning there is no resolution available and you're at a stalemate. For your sake, I hope this is not one of those things!

My primary concern here is the fact that he finds it "degrading" yet still entertains fantasies about fucking someone eles in the ass. If it is degrading to do to you (well, it is more "with" you than to you), then why would he think it different when it is another woman? Maybe some unconfronted anger towards women in general? Or maybe he doesn't find it degrading at all yet has a quite common misconception that because it involves a penis and an asshole it somehow pulls his sexuality into question? Possibly he isn't turned on by the thought but is afraid to admit it to you since you are grooving on the idea... No matter the reason, communication is what it is going to take for you to have a chance at getting what you want on this one! Please take a minute to read this entry about anal sex basics... make sure he does as well! Good luck!

[September 1, 2007] -

Hello Crystal. We can fix this! First of all, you have GOT to be honest with him. Knock off the play-acting. If he thinks he is doing what it takes to get you off, he will never change what he does and you will never be truly satisfied. This sounds to me a lot like a combination of insecurity and male bravado. (No man wants to hear murmurs that he has a sexually unsatisfied girlfriend, if you've told your best friend about this I PROMISE she has told someone else.) At a time when you are NOT in the moment, when you are NOT doing anything sexual, you need to tenderly broach this subject. Tell him the truth. That you enjoy sex with him, love it when he fucks the Hell out of you but that the pressure of his constant interrogation is keeping you from relaxing and enjoying your sex to the fullest. Feel like you cannot bring this up out of the blue? Or you have and he is slipping back in to that crappy ass pattern? When you are in bed getting frisky, ask him to slow it down. Respond enthusiastically both verbally and physically to "good touch" and minimally to "bad touch". If you let your body lead, his cock WILL follow!

Now, the squirting thing. Yeah, I know this one from experience. I am more of a gusher, but have been known to squirt wickedly once in a while. I don't guarantee it, tho. I have not mastered it enough yet! I am still working on the reliability factor. The thing with squirting is this: you have to be totally relaxed and totally in the moment. The more pressured you are to squirt, the less likely you will. Period. If you are interested in teaching yourself to squirt, I recommend Nina Hartley's Guide. I know her personally and she has a gift for teaching! She is concise and keeps it simple. I adore her!

Crystal, stop faking the moans unless you are willing to spend the rest of this relationship in a sexual quagmire. Eventually, if you haven't already, you will begin to resent your man and dread sex. Why?! Let me know how it turns out? :)

[August 14, 2007] - Let's look at this from the outside... if you were dating someone for a few weeks, things got frisky... some heavy petty, some oral action and so on, THEN you found out there was a potential incurable disease in the mix. How would you feel? Betrayed? Angry? Scared? Probably. Yeah, telling before playing is ALWAYS my advice. As for HOW to tell: do not wait until clothes have hit the floor and the passion is flying! That just sends out a creepy vibe that one may possibly never get over. It is not necessarily "first date" material, but it is also not "we're already in the bedroom" stuff, either! It is something that needs to be approached delicately, but honestly. I would suggest having medical literature and/or pamphlets on hand to allay any fears would be to your advantage. Depending on the level of commitment already achieved, you might consider offering to make an informational appointment for you and your significant other with your medical provider. A chance for the three of you to sit down, voice concerns and get the facts together. By providing all of the data in an environment as low in stress and pressure possible, you are giving your potential partner the respect and tools needed for her to make an educated decision. Do remember a few things... 1) VALTREX is not a replacement for practicing safer sex. If you are taking VALTREX to reduce the risk of spreading herpes to your partner, there are a few important things you need to do: * Do not have sex when you get an outbreak or think you are about to get an outbreak. * Always use a condom when you have sex. * Take VALTREX every day as prescribed. (Further information can be found at Valtrex.com and 2). 99% safe may seem like wonderful odds, but no one wants to be that other 1% Good luck on this one and, truthfully, I admire your integrity!

[August 13, 2007] - Actually, I do not have a boyfriend right now... although I have a male friend that would be angry to read that statement... my last bf, the one I still occasionally fuck (well, 2-6 times a week) is "industry". While he is "behind the scenes", he *was* male talent for one dvd (I was one of those 4 or 5 scenes), he understands the business and knows that sex for a scene versus sex for pleasure is a big difference! While I will never NEVER feign an orgasm during a scene (it cheapens everything IMHO), when I am at home and I choose to fuck someone and they know it is because I chose them and not because a studio chose them it is a BIG difference! My most recent ex, Craig, has actually shot scenes with gal pals of mine, not to mention those whom I have brought home because I just craved watching him fuck them... I am really the stereotypical "down-to-earth" chick, so I fail to see how I could be intimidating in any way! Great question tho... I was flattered! *giggle*

[August 10, 2007] - My oh my do I know THIS one from personal experience! (Anyone remember David? Me either!) Ok, there are a few routes to go when trying to "sexually retrain" your man. The most important thing to remember is this: The male psyche is VERY fragile! Hopefully, your relationship is solid enough that you can sit down and voice your concerns. This is the best option in my opinion. Make sure you are not getting frisky when you bring this tender subject up to your guy. Sexual requests/concerns voiced during sex tend to sound more like demands and criticisms. Another option is to ask your lover to turn over one entire night of fuck-play to you. COMPLETELY! From which room you bang in, what role play fantasies you indulge in, to the positions you fuck in. By holding the reins, you can sexually experiment with various positions and combinations to your hearts content! Another choice to shake things up? Try renting an adult film and playing "monkey-see-monkey-do". Mimic the positions/actions playing on-screen in front of you... if you find that it is the same routine that you two have fallen in to, then drag your happy asses out to Porn Valley and get in the biz! ;) Want the BEST solution to this problem? Try a combination of these suggestions and fuck to your hearts content! OR, you could be a little minx and point out this column to him and laugh at "Danielle's Misery" and hope he takes a hint! Keep it fun, keep it safe, but most of all, keep it fucking!

[August 8, 2007] - My oh MY, I like the way you think! I have found that innuendo can work wonders! When I have it in mind to drive a man crazy all day long, I like to whisper something provacative in their ear... maybe something like, "Make no plans after work this evening... I have a surprise in store for you," while leaning in to them, pressing my breasts up against them and giving their hand a gentle squeeze. Throughout the day, an occasional text message filled with promises of events to come keep them guessing. Making sure your comments or erotic not explicit helps too, I have found. The allure of mystery with a hint of sexual banter stirs their... hopes. By giving them something to look forward to, along with periodic reminders of what is to come, WITHOUT specifically telling them WHAT they are I have planned let's them day-dream and fantasize all day. I love to tease them once they've returned home. A silky blouse with nothing beneath it... a skirt that is just a LITTLE too short paired with lace-topped stockings, a heady fragrance applied to your pulse-points (without over doing it! Perfume should not be able to be smelled from across the room, it is a private scent one should need to be merely inches away to enjoy), a lingering touch while talking to him, leaning forward when he speaks... little touches like that entice. Just make sure of One THING: NEVER start this and not finish! The ONLY thing crueler is starting a blow job and not finishing it.

[July 30, 2007] - Ok, I have GOT to start by saying this: I LOVE how candid you were about this question... Is she faking or not, definitely not a fun thought. From *personal* experience, I have to say, ignore sounds and got for the "wet test". Who cares if she coo's or even screams like a Banshee? If her pussy spasms and you feel an onrush of moisture, you have done what you came to do! I have had many a girl/girl scene become boring and bland for me to shoot because of the overly theatrical moans and groans of my "co-star". A lot of girls lie about sex, that is the cowardly way most deal with it. Instead of telling a man what they want sexually, instead of being honest with their partner, they pretend that everything is roses and rainbows when in bed then bitch to their gal pals about the lame lay they got. NEWS FLASH to women everywhere: If your man sucks in bed and you did not tell him WHY, it is just as much YOUR FAULT!

[July 29, 2007] - Hi Edward! You are tres' welcome for the poster, thank YOU for the email! Ok, threesomes can be very tricky. A few things before you even begin to look for that third person...Make sure your girlfriend is actually wanting to experiment with this and is not just agreeing to appease you. It is also very important that you set boundaries and rules before anything happens. (For example: The third can play around but not get penetrated by you.) Discussing what each of you wants and hopes to gain from this experience will help make sure things go the way you want them to go. Make each other aware of what you are looking for in a third person. Once you have decided on that third, it is generally easier if your girlfriend approaches her. It has been my experience that it works better that way. HIV tests, preferably PCR/DNA, are necessary! No matter how well you think you know each other, make sure everyone is clean! Once the time comes, a little bit of wine tends to set everyone at ease. Make sure you are watching your girlfriends body language. If she seems hesitant or unsure, ask her if she is still all right with the planned festivities. ANY sign of hesitancy means you call it off for that night! Once the three of you make your way to the bedroom (or living room floor if you cannot wait *giggle*) continue to watch your significant other for any signs of jealousy or insecurity. If you have done your homework on laying down the rules beforehand, there is less of a chance of this. One of the common complaints I have heard from gal pals about threesomes is that they felt neglected and their boyfriends payed more attention to the "new pussy". Don't do that. It will create a problem between you and your gal and will lessen the chance of another threesome. Give the girls time to fool around with each other too. A threesome does not mean that everyone is always doing something! There are times when two of the three are playing and the third is merely watching. Keep in mind that what you have seen in adult films was directed/scripted and not the way it has to be. Be careful not to fall in to the trap of trying to direct the girls, too. Let things flow naturally and no one will be disappointed! Courtesy dictates that afterwards, should the third stay over night, that you snuggle with your girl, not the new one. (That helps stave off any insecurities that might sneak up on your gal.) After your playmate has left, talk about it with your girlfriend. Feel the situation out to make sure everything felt right to her. Then, spoil your gal pal ROTTEN for a bit! Having given you such a great gift, you should reciprocate!

[July 27, 2007] - Hi Jerry! Glad you enjoy my online world! Wow! This is a complex question. With so many stories of betrayed trust and sex tapes being 'leaked' on to the internet, it is not as easy as it once was to enjoy making your own private pornos. There are several factors to consider. If the issue is one of trust, a simple contract can be drawn up (for more in-depth information on releases, see http://fairuse.stanford.edu/Copyright_and_Fair_Use_Overview/chapter12/12-c.html ). Perhaps her hesitancy is based more on insecurity of her appearance. In a world where a size 4 is considered 'chubby' by Hollywood standards, some women forget that we are supposed to have curves! If this is the cause of her reluctance, try a few practice runs. Light some candles in the room, hook your camcorder up through your television and, without a tape in the camera, enjoy each other. Let her see how beautiful she is, let her get used to the idea of a camera in the room. Some people get a form of stage fright just at the sight of the camera in the room! Once she sees how sexy she is and how excited the prospect of chronicling your adventures in, the insecurity will more than likely dissipate. On a more technical note, the lower you place the camera, the bigger things will look. While this might be just what you wanted to here for your penis, she might not want that same effect for her butt. Try placing the camera on top of a dresser or entertainment center with a slight downward slant (almost everyone looks good if the camera is pointed down at approximately a 45 degree angle). You may want to get camera placement taken care of before she enters the room, to keep her from seeing herself at a bad angle. On a related note, there are a few things you should keep in mind. Video taping a sexual act without your partners knowlege is illegal (not to mention slimey). You can be prosecuted in a civil court of law. Showing private footage to your friends in order to impress them is a BIG no-no! Even mentioning bedroom escapades is just bad form. If there is another circumstance involved in your partners hesitancy to video tape your lovemaking that I have not addressed, please contact me again!