Ask Kayla Quinn

[October 30, 2008] -

Romantic talk vs. dirty talk; the age-old battle continues! When it comes to romantic dialogue, adjectives are your best friend! Rely on the five senses to guide you. Whatever you see, smell, hear, taste and touch need be communicated with adjectives galore! Want to really impress your woman? Spend a few moments on Thesaurus.com and find alternate words for things such as soft, silky, sweet, etc. Fight the urge to say things like, "I want to wreck that tight pussy!" Not romantic, if you know what I mean. Want to convey a similar thought? Tell her you'd like to "nudge your way in to her, feeling her moist lips part and make way for your cock...accommodating your girth, but only so...her tender warmth wrapping around your cock..." well, you get the idea! Good luck on this and (once you've perfected it) start teaching courses! Too few men utilize romantic bedroom talk, IMHO.

[October 27, 2008] -

Concerned about sexing a new partner for the first time? Don't want to break your bank renting enough porn films to pick up the tips and tricks? No problem! Here are some basic tips and tricks to help you...ummm...go the distance! First of all, shake one out before your date. It generally takes longer to ejaculate the second time around. Make her work for it. ;)

Men take less time from moment of penetration to orgasm than women do, in order to prolong the physical act change your pace occasionally. If you feel as though you are about to shoot your load, change the rhythm and/or pace of your thrusts. You can also trick your body by distracting your mind; a good friend of mine told me he thought of Margaret Thatcher naked to keep from popping.

Should you feel as though you need more practice, I am sure your ex won't mind helping you out there! Have fun!

[October 2, 2008] -

There is something incredibly provocative about seeing a new lover undressed for the first time! Anticipation sends adrenaline coursing through your veins, whipping your hormones into a frenzy and sending your pulse off the charts...there is little that can top the passion of unconquered sexual territory. The newness of it all, paired with fear of rejection can be jarring. So, while the awkwardness of the moment may feel overwhelming and you're scrambling for anything to say or do to break the tension, giving your penis a silly name, playing ventriloquist with your cock-puppet or showing off a trick you've "taught your cock" might backfire on you. True...humor can break the ice, but once you've made your dick something to laugh at or about it can be difficult to regain that erotically charged atmosphere conducive to good shagging.

There is no formulaic penis presentation plan for me to set out before you. I actually did research this and, aside from mating and/or courtship customs practiced by remote tribes, was unable to find any guidelines pertaining to this matter. Here is the best advice I can give, and it comes only from my own experience: Don't over-practice for the moment; spontaneity is part of the thrill of sex and no one wants to feel as though they're watching the same performance dozens before have already seen.

[September 30, 2008] -

Rim jobs...they aren't just in basketball anymore! Yes, Brad, I have licked an ass or two in my day...both on film and off. I shot Lady Ass Lickers" with Brooke Hunter and "Toss My Salad #6" with Rod Fontana, just to name the first few that come to my mind...

[August 26, 2008] -

Hats off to your girlfriend! About time she remembered your dynamic duo! I am a big fan of licking and sucking balls and have been frustrated when male talent has that on his "No list" when shooting. (A "No list" is merely the things a performer does not enjoy and requests not to have those things done during a scene.)

Why did it feel so good? A warm, moist mouth caressing your balls completely...an enthusiastic tongue feeling vaguely like wet velvet sweeping across your scrotum, licking places you've never had licked before....Sorry, hun! I have no clue WHY it felt so good to you! ;)

[July 10, 2008] -

Ok, this is not really a question, but it made me laugh (like literally LOL), so I just have to address it!

First off, that has happened to me (and others, I can guarantee) on set before...we jokingly refer to that as a "Three Pump Chump". A few years ago, there was one director in particular who tended to book me with "unknown" male talent; by unknown, I mean it was his first or second scene. I finally asked him why he kept doing that to me (it makes for a much longer day AND a higher chance of a tanker of a scene for me) and he finally said, "Kayla, you can lead the scene without it being obvious on film." Great. "Punishment" for a job well done! *giggle*

As a result, I have actually looked in to ways to help a guy stall the inevitable. First off...try shaking one out a bit before the actual sexing. Takes you longer to cum the second time around! Another trick? If you feel yourself bubbling over too quickly, think of something ultra non-sexy. An ex-boyfriend of mine told me his standard delay thought was Margaret Thatcher in a thong bikini. Remember the PC muscle I mentioned when discussing kegels? Well, for you guys, your PC muscle is located between your anus and scrotum, it's the one you contract when you try to stop peeing suddenly. Exercise that muscle a little bit every day or two. How? Clench it then release it in ten-second periods. Do that three times, then take a break. Then do this clench-and-release technique for five seconds. Perform ten sets of this. Now, try tightening the muscle for 30 seconds and relaxing for 30 seconds. Do three sets of that. This is an exercise so easy to do, you don't even have to join a gym! You can do it anytime, anywhere, no one will know you are doing it but you. Now, when you are faced with becoming a Three Pump Chump, keeping your cock in whichever hole it is in, stop pumping away...clench and release your PC muscle, you should be good to go again! Ok, you might have to clench and release a few times. On the bright side, it sort of makes your hard cock jump a little and it feels great inside a chick (at least, this chick) when you guys do it so we don't generally mind the 3 second pause in the banging!

Oh! Before you hang your head(s) in shame: biologically speaking, men generally take (barring any self-control/effort on their part) 2-3 minutes from time of penetration to orgasm. Women? 12-14 minutes. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?

Hope this helps!

[June 15, 2008] -

By "make the best of this", John, I am going to assume "this" = the size of your penis. First of all, do not believe everything you see in porn or read in chatrooms! Not everyone else is walking around slinging a 13" trouser snake. The average dick is about 5 1/2 - 5 3/4 inches. If everyone in a chatroom claiming to have a 13" wang did, then there would have to be an equal number of 1" schlongs out there. I sincerely doubt that is the case.

Ok, barring penis pumps, herbal supplements and surgery...I would suggest really taking advantage of certain sexual positions. Keep the shapes of the bodies involved in mind. For example: I have a big, round ass. A shorter cock fucking me anally in doggy style? It'll never reach my hole and neither of us will ever reach orgasm! While reverse cowgirl would be an excellent choice for a smaller dick, a position like pile driver would be next to impossible. If doggy is your thing, and you want to get in there as deep as you can...have your partner arch her back, forcing her butt higher in the air, so that you can penetrate her vagina more easily and more completely.

The Kayla Tip o' the Day? Experiment, experiment, experiment!

[June 9, 2008] -

Hi Max. I am going to answer out of order here...Yes, I have had an issue or two with discomfort when dealing with a cock that bends one direction or the other. Generally speaking, it has happened when either he or I moved unexpectedly.

As for a position most likely to help her reach orgasm, try reverse cowgirl. In this sexual position, the female mounts the male, but facing his feet instead of his face. The reason I think this would be the best option for you and your girlfriend is simple: with a cock that curves down, reverse cowgirl increases the likelihood of hitting her g-spot.

Example of reverse cowgirl:

[June 4, 2008] -

Interesting Adam...very interesting! I am wondering if maybe you just prefer the extra stimulation provided by her gripping fingers...you just might be a hand-job kind of guy! I know a few blow-job kind of guys...they love to fuck, but need the sucking action to mentally and physically get themselves to orgasm. There is nothing wrong with knowing what you like, hun!

Is this a new situation for you? Is this the first sex partner you have had this issue with? If so, experiment with different positions. It may just be that you need to find the perfect spot for your cock! If it is not a new thing, and you have always been more into the grip than the slip just tell your girlfriend. If you let her think it is "her", then the sexual situation will never get better for the two of you. Feeling inferior doesn't tend to make a woman feel hot.

[May 17, 2008] -

Hi Gerald. Most of of porn gals try not to work on our heaviest flow days. When working on a light day, we moisten a sea sponge and insert it in to our vagina and push it up as far as we can. Etiquette dictates that you inform anyone you are working with before you start the scene!

It is safe, barring blood-born diseases such as HIV, to fuck while bleeding. It can be messy...but as long as you test clean for STD's, it is safe to do. I would suggest putting down a dark sheet or towel first. Also, let gravity work for you not against you and let the gal stay on the bottom! It will help lessen the mess that way.

[April 20, 2008] -

A standard "Pile Driver" position is basically when the receiver of the cock lies on their shoulders (usually on the floor, since beds and other furniture can have too much give, making this position too unstable), and the giver of the cock stands above them and inserts, fucking away! Here's a look at how it goes!

[March 28, 2008] -

Hi Brendon! There are a few "tricks of the trade" that may help you here! I suggest stroking one out before the actual sex starts. We all know that the second orgasm takes a guy longer to reach than the first. Once fucking, thinking of something less than sexually enticing (I've heard anything from baseball to car repairs to Margaret Thatcher in a bikini) can help hold back the tide so to speak. Another trick used on set? Change the tempo of the thrusting or change positions/switch to having your cock sucked! Hope these suggestions help!

BTW, clearing the air and letting her know your concern might help alleviate some of the mental pressure and make things easier on you as well!

[March 24, 2008] -

The term "cream pie" refers to an internal pop. Put simply, allowing the ejaculate to be deposited inside the vagina. Since "pie" is slang for pussy and the gooey goodness resembles cream...

[March 13, 2008] -

Hi Joe...have you tried just asking her why she is so hesitant to suck cock? It may be as simple as a past bad experience! I realize that you say you are fine without the oral gratification, so I will move on to the actual questions!

I did find a fairly comprehensive list (along with photos) of sexual positions here. As far as my favorite positions, I must admit to being a creature of habit when it comes to non-film sex! I tend to enjoy missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy and a bit of pile-driver when at home. Out of that list, the two I would assume to be least likely used by non-film folk are reverse cowgirl and pile-driver. Pile-driver can be a bit tricky; it requires not only the proper setting but for both parties to be paying apt attention to prevent injury!

[January 3, 2008] -

Ahhh...the comic geek has been asked a super-hero question finally! There are actualyl two super-hero slangs out there these days: SuperMan-ing and Spider-Man-ing...to SuperMan a gal, a guy shoots his hot, sticky load on her back (doggy-style lends itself perfectly to this) then, before she falls asleep, presses the sheet against her spunk-covered back before the jizz dries. The result? When the chicka wakes up, the dried cum acts as an adhesive and the sheet has stuck to her like a cape; hence the term "SuperMan-ing".

To Spider-Man a girl, one needs to merely pull out of her before shooting his spunk, shoot it into his hand then throw it at her as Spidey does when slinging his web. Get it? *giggle*

Which is more popular? I don't know...yet another chapter in the DC vs. Marvel battle!

[October 27, 2007] - Hi Deana,

I actually learned a bit about kegels that I did not know while researching your question! First of all, I have been mispronouncing it all these years! LOL I have been saying kI-gul, with a long I sound and soft u in the second syllable. It is actually pronounced KAY-gill, long A and soft I at the end. Oooops? It is so named after Dr. Arnold Kegel who developed the exercise in 1948 as a method of controlling incontinence in women after childbirth. It tones up and strengthens the pubococcygeus muscle (commonly referred to as the PC muscle), which supports the urethra, bladder, uterus, vagina and rectum in women. Another fact I did not know until digging in to this question, men have a PC muscle and can benefit from kegels as well! In men, this muscle supports the urethra, bladder, penis, and rectum. Involved in both orgasm and ejaculation, strengthening the PC muscle can not only lead to a more fulfilling sex life but can actually help combat impotence and urinary problems. Sounds win-win to me!

Not sure how to find your PC muscle? You know when you really gotta pee, but your clenching so you don't? THAT is the PC muscle you are using when you do that! Next time you're taking a tinkle, try clenching (technically flexing) that muscle to stop your urine mid-flow. That is the basic kegel! (Just to make sure no one is confused here, you are not supposed to do kegels while pissing...just helping you locate the right muscle.)

The entire exercise is basically flexing that muscle, holding it anywhere from 5-10 seconds then releasing it for a second or two and repeating the process. For quickest results (we are a "Fast Food Nation" as Eric Schlosser so poignantly proves in his novel by the same title... subtle hint to read that book...), faithfully do your kegel routine daily. Since it is such a discreet exercise, it can be done just about anywhere at just about any time. Consistency and repetition are key here.

One last note, you should not be tightening your abs or back or thighs doing these. Just your PC muscle. Well, you might feel your asshole clench, too...happens. This is not something that going overkill the first day or two will help speed up the results on, so don't do that. Kegels are not that difficult, you are not power-lifting here...don't hold your breath, don't "feel the burn"... just flex the PC muscle! You should start feeling results in your sex life in about 3-4 weeks if you were vigilant about doing the exercises daily.

[October 25, 2007] - Well, first of all, make sure your partner shares the same interest here! Bringing a flame in to the bed without warning might trigger a "Burning Bed" flashback and (if you remember correctly), that didn't end too well for the guy! If everything is a 'go', then you need to figure out the comfort levels. This is one of those situations where baby-steps are the best approach. Find a birthday candle (baking goods aisle of the grocery), and burn it for a minute or two. Pour the resulting wax on both your palm and your partners. Too hot? Not hot enough? It may be that one of, or neither of, you like the feeling. If that's the case, nothing lost and time saved. If one likes it and the other doesn't... at least you know who holds the candle! *giggle* Ok, let's say you have made it this far, now what?

Low tolerance for the heat? Instead of applying the melted wax directly to your lovers skin, dip your finger in it (I suggest a quick dip, followed by blowing on it to 'coat' your finger, then going back for more wax) and use your finger as an 'applicator'. Since it is generally the texture of hot wax that provides the pleasure, this delivers the result without the fear of burning your partner. Think you can handle it a bit hotter?

There are several candles on the market that are specifically made for adult play. I recommend Earthly Body, I have used their products and SWEAR by them! They have a lower melting point, so the risk of hurting/getting hurt is minimized, plus they are made of oils and extracts that are good for the skin. If this particular brand is too much of an "oil" than a wax for your taste, there are others on the market that do not melt down quite as much. Here is the thing with pouring wax versus finger-painting with it: aim well! Don't hit ultra-sensitive parts by accident! That can really ruin your date! Still want to turn up the heat?

To get an even hotter result, pour the wax from a shorter height. The wax will cool less traveling through 3 inches of air than through 6... trust me! Be careful, though, and for God sake use common sense! Don't pour wax into any opening (ears, nostrils, pussies, assholes, mouths, etc.)! Have erotic memories, not an ER bill to remember the experience by!

[October 22, 2007] - Hi Scott, this really depends on what type of vehicle you drive. IF you have a backseat, I suggest leaning the front seats all the way forward and letting your gal pal straddle you (she may have to tuck her head a bit or lean it out the back window to keep from getting a concussion unless she is rather... petite). This is one of those times where tinted windows are a definite benefit! By leaning the front seats forward as much as possible, you get a little leverage as well as leg room. No back seats? Slide your front seat as far back as it will go, place your damsel on your lap in reverse cowgirl (facing as though she is driving) on your rigid cock. She can then use your dashboard and her hands for leverage. Height and weight, of course, play a part in these positions. Best best? Extended cab trucks OR warm nights, sleeping bags and the bed of a pick up! Good luck! Oh... and consider getting your own place! If you're old enough to be fucking, you're old enough to be paying rent!